I Got A World Beating Hummer and Then Pulled A Muscle To My Right Nut

In this post I’m going to talk about getting the best blowjob of my life, so if you’re not into that, you might want to read this blog instead. It’s been awhile since I’ve written anything personal and extra-dirty and it’s high time I got back to it. Plus, I was inspired by this post about a dirty city girl finally getting laid.

Okay, so here was the situation. I’ve been officially broken up with my ex-girlfriend, Megan, for several months now, and in the interim we were doing this quasi-dating-fuck-buddy thing. That ended about two weeks ago, or at least I thought it had, until I invited her to meet me out for dinner to catch up.  Yeeeah, you know where this is headed.

We went to dinner, had a great time, drank a bunch of mojitas, and then magically appeared back at her place. I think I needed to pick up a book or something (full disclosure: I borrowed book 1 of the Twilight series and did in fact need to borrow book 2). We were clearly still attracted to each other and there was plenty of sexual tension throughout dinner. I knew I was going to make some kind of move, didn’t know what it would be, and I also knew the evening could only end in severe disappointment or totally awesomely, nothing in-between.

At her place. I waited for an opportune moment, came up behind her, put my arms around her waist, and started kissing her ears and neck. It’s worth noting that I didn’t know if she would go for it, afterall we were broken up, and the move could have easily backfired, but I figured fuck it and I was in. Then I ran my hands up and down her body and gave her ass a few little squeezes. There was monster sexual tension and I had a hard-on that I could have smashed a cinder block with. She moaned quietly with her eyes closed.

Still standing, I reached under her dress and pulled her panties down to her ankles. I kissed my way down her body and made my way between her legs. I started lapping at her pussy. It was delicious. She moaned and shuddered. I thought she was going to come right then and there. While she was still standing, my head between her legs, I licked her until she came.  Then I moved her to the couch and set her on her back. She took her dress off en route. I went down on her again, this time seriously getting into it, doing some crazy shit with my tongue and fingers. She orgasmed twice more, at least, each one building in intensity. I wasn’t done though, I kept at it, starting slowly and then building again, this time putting my tongue directly in her pussy and rubbing her clit with one hand. She came again like a hand grenade blowing up. It was friggin hot, and I have to admit I loved going down on her.

I was going to lead her into the bedroom and give her the Lance business, but she had other ideas. She set me up on the couch and took my cock into her mouth. She got totally into it, sucking away. In her living room, by candlelight, with her sucking my cock, it was gorgeous. People, I’ve had plenty of great blowjobs, but this was far and away the best of the lot. Seriously, the combination of sexual tension, familiarity, naughtiness like we weren’t supposed to be together again, and time away from each other amped it up to the max.

It built until I exploded. This was the most intense, most insane, hardest orgasm I’ve ever had, ever, and it was so intense it was painful. I had to physically make her stop doing stuff while I writhed around in pleasure/pain. Major sensory overload.

Afterwards, we spent the night together. Here’s the fucked up thing. In the morning, I woke up and had this horrible pain in my groin. I figured I must have pulled a muscle. The pain extended all the way to my right nut, though, and I couldn’t quite figure out what I had done to myself. Walking around and sitting was annoyingly painful. I ended up talking to a pal of mine about the world beating blowjob and he said I likely pulled a cremaster muscle, which is the muscle that attaches to the back of the testicle and moves it around when your nuts get hot or cold. Not making this up, this muscle actually exists. The nut muscle.

So there it is. A blowjob so intensely powerful that I pulled my nut muscle. I’m sitting here writing this blog post and my nut is a little bit sore right now. Can you believe it?

If you’ve ever pulled a nut muscle, you might also like these posts:

  • http://www.mysecrethobby.blogspot.com kiera

    Haha! You literally “busted a nut.” It’s too bad that something that felt so good came with lingering pain.

    Was her technique different or was it the combination of the other factors your mentioned that made it so amazing? Because if it’s possible, I’d like to sprain a few nut muscles myself.
    .-= kiera´s last blog ..Ugly Porn =-.

  • Hippylovechild

    It’s the gift that keeps on giving ;o)

  • http://www.idatewhite.com Eathan

    wow.. You might want to try a bag of frozen peas. Make take away the pain. haha
    .-= Eathan´s last blog ..Twitter Has Changed My Dating Life =-.

  • http://dadshouseblog.com dadshouse

    Dude, ex-girlfriend sex is the best. Sorry to hear of your injury! If you go into a cold lake, will things not properly contract? Ouch!
    .-= dadshouse´s last blog ..Single Dads are Pathetic Womanizers and Partiers? WTF! =-.

  • http://honeyandlance.com Lance

    The equipment works, it’s just fucking painful during temp changes. Fortunately, I live in Florida and it’s constantly hot here!
    .-= Lance´s last blog ..I Got A World Beating Hummer and Then Pulled A Muscle To My Right Nut =-.

  • http://www.thedateabledork.com The Dateable Dork

    First of all, Lance, I love your dirty sex posts! Keep ’em coming. : )

    Secondly, OUCH! I really can’t imagine what it must be like to pull a muscle like that, but I sincerely hope you’re feeling better, especially if you’re headed back to work tomorrow after the long weekend. Take it easy!

    Oh, and I’m glad to hear you had such an amazing BJ. Love it. : )
    .-= The Dateable Dork´s last blog …4th of July weekend =-.

  • http://www.cashbackrewardcreditcards.net/ Cash Back

    Funny story. I’m sure the pleasure made it all worthwhile. It sounds like breaking up was the best move for your sex life. Just hope it can stay that way and relationship issues don’t creep back in.

  • http://www.hotalphafemale.blogspot.com Hot Alpha Female

    “Every Action has an Equal and Opposite Reaction”

    Need I say more hehehe

    Hot Alpha Female
    .-= Hot Alpha Female´s last blog …I Really Like Him – Now What?! =-.

  • http://www.asprainedankle.com Big Boy Rider

    Sounds like it was worth it! Hope you heal and get to relive the glory again…

  • http://www.asprainedankle.com Big Boy Rider

    Nice work, man. Scary story though. Probably worth it though. A little jealous and kind of not.