There were some good comments on my post When I Act Dumb Chicks Want To Sleep With Me More, so I thought I’d write a followup and dive into how acting dumb makes you more attractive.
When I said I acted dumb what I meant was I act tactically dumb, that is, I might purposefully act clueless, shallow, jackassey, or not have an opinion on something in order to generate attraction. At first blush this might be perceived as being dumb, but if you unpack it this is what you get:
* I’ll act clueless about a subject in order to draw out conversation or pump up her enthusiasm about something. Honey mentioned this tactic in her comment. An example might be acting clueless about a genre of music so that she’ll get fired up about explaining it to me, even though I know tons of stuff about that genre. Everyone I know does this, knowingly or unknowingly.
* She might ask me a serious question about a serious subject and I’ll blow it off with humor or a witty response. So here I might give the impression of not having an opinion or not being a deep thinker, when in fact I’m dodging a sensitive subject because I know following the conversational thread will destroy attraction. If she asks me about politics or kids on a first date, I’ll use this tactic. I use this tactic a lot on early dates and it helps to shape the conversational flow in the direction I want it to go in, which is usually sexual. Who doesn’t do this?
* I’ll act like “party fun guy” on an early date and avoid all types of deeper conversation in order to steer towards kino and create a sexual aura. For me, this only works when we’re in a party setting, such as a loud bar or club. I’m not good at pulling off party-fun guy mode at a coffee shop, which is why I avoid coffee shops like the plague on early dates.
To extend the thought above, I will drop some hints or fire off a couple of nuggets of intellectual richness and high intelligence, just so she knows I’m not a complete vacuous idiot. My overall strategy always on early dates is go sexual, build tension, be mysterious, and allude to a lot of possibility. It’s to my advantage to reveal my brainy side down the road. 😉
* I’ll act shallow or overly dude-ish in an over-the-top way in order to certify that I am, in fact, a sexually healthy guy. Example: if I’m on a date, I’ll remark that I’m attracted to blondes with big boobs and act totally shallow about it in a wink-wink way. I do this all the time because the women I date usually go out with guys who are complete pussies and won’t admit to having sexual urges. I find this incredibly liberating for me and her, because what I do is followup by asking her about her fantasies or what types of guys she has urges about. One girl I dated I asked if she fantasized about huge black guys with horse cocks, and she admitted that she did have a thing for that. So then it was totally out in the open and I knew we could talk about sex freely.
Just be careful not to turn her off and shade it with humor and you’ll be just fine with this tactic.
* Sometimes I’ll do something dumb on purpose in order to create a takeaway and generate laughs or create an interesting point during a date. This one is complicated, but here’s an example: let’s say we go on a date to a hockey game and it’s going really well. I can tell she thinks I’m high value. I might act extra belligerent and get us reprimanded by the ushers simply so the date becomes memorable and also as a takeaway to my value. Why would I do that? Because I never want to come off as too high value because it would overshadow her and also I want to set an expectation that if you hang with me, crazy shit can happen, which is an absolute reality. Perfect dates are boring. I did this with my current girlfriend once and nearly got us kicked out of a bar. This worked awesomely, because now we have a cool story to laugh about and her expectation, which she’s completely accepted, is that I’m a little bit crazy.
Those are just some ways to act dumb and generate attraction. I like what Matt Savage said in comments about how acting a little dumb steers you towards quick lay and short term attraction territory, that sounds about right. I also agree with Kiera about chicks who act dumb to get drinks and smokes, that works too.
You know what’s really effective? I mix in some of the tactics above with tactics that make me look really smart, and that package explodes the attraction. Seriously, chicks eat it up. Honey can probably blog about the smart stuff since she’s a super brainy Virgo 😉 But basically if I pontificate on books and art and stuff and then get us kicked out of a bar in the same night, it’s game over. I’m getting the girl.