Let’s use a thought experiment. Let’s say your girl is near perfect in every way, except the sex is only a 5 on a scale of 1 to 10 for whatever reasons. Very very average, nay even mediocre. Would you stick with it? If so, why or why not? I can’t in my right mind consider staying with a chick if the sex is that…boring…even if everything else is wonderful. Especially if it’s long term.
On the flipside, what happens if your partner is a 10 in the sack, where 10 is absolutely “mindblowing,” and the rest of the relationship is kinda lame, say a 5 again. Not corrosive, but definitely not great. I could stay in that relationship for a good chunk of time. At least a year. In fact, I’ve done it several times. In fact, my last real girlfriend, Megan, was exactly like this. The relationship was not good but the sex was amazing and we stayed together far longer than we probably should have. That seems so important. (Even worse, I would nail her again at the drop of hat…)
This might be a good question for the older members of the audience to answer. Or anyone.
What it comes down to for me is this. If the sex is exciting, inspiring, fun, easy and open, and multi-orgasmic, that’s what I need. If it feels like work, is often tedious, feels weird for her (or me) afterwards, and no one gets off, why the fuck bother? Is great companionship worth boring sex? Or vice versa? And how much work are we supposed to put in to make our boring sex good, or good sex fantastic? Is it our job to help our sex partners get better or should we only look for a good match in this department?
I think orgasms are important. I’ve had some amazing insane gorilla sex in the last couple of years, as detailed here, here, and here. In a couple of those sessions, I’ve been so inspired and so amped by being with my partner, we did it for hours, she had upwards of 20 orgasms, and I had 5-6. That’s a lot of orgasms. That’s a lot of fucking. I want to give her orgasms, I want her to enter the multi-orgasmic state, I want her to play the slut role and the submissive, and I want her to feel like a dirty little girl in the sack. Because it makes me feel like a man and it’s a hell of a lot of fun. But if I can’t do those things because she’s not into it or she can’t define her own role in the fantasy, is it my job to bring that out?
If mindblowing sex is important to you, you might also like these fine posts: