Comments on: Honey’s Take: The Key To Successful Relationships http://honeyandlance.com/honeys-take-the-key-to-successful-relationships Dating, Relationships, Pickup, Life Fri, 12 Mar 2010 15:53:09 -0400 http://wordpress.org/?v=abc hourly 1 By: Lance http://honeyandlance.com/honeys-take-the-key-to-successful-relationships/comment-page-1#comment-379 Lance Sat, 12 Apr 2008 03:31:12 +0000 http://honeyandlance.com/honeys-take-the-key-to-successful-relationships#comment-379 Your reply actually makes me think of several other questions pertaining to the whole experience thing. Also influenced by systemsthinker's post. If you're busy dating and racking up "experience," what effect are you having on all those people, and how much of it is negative? I mean, no one wants to be the person that you're learning how to socialize on. I say give value in every instance, which is an ideal for sure, but something to strive for. Even if you only go on one date, make sure the both of you had a good time. That's the best you can do. The other thing I think of is probabilities. How likely is it that you'll find someone that is in the right position to connect with you in a deep and meaningful way? You might be perfect for each other, but you're just in two different places in life. The timing bums me out sometimes. This is why I think VOLUME is so important. The more numbers you play, the greater chance you're giving yourself to find what you really want. Your reply actually makes me think of several other questions pertaining to the whole experience thing. Also influenced by systemsthinker’s post. If you’re busy
dating and racking up “experience,” what effect are you having on all those people, and how much of it is negative? I mean, no one wants to be the person that you’re learning how to socialize on.

I say give value in every instance, which is an ideal for sure, but something to strive for. Even if you only go on one date, make sure the both of you had a good time. That’s the best you can do.

The other thing I think of is probabilities. How likely is it that you’ll find someone that is in the right position to connect with you in a deep and meaningful way? You might be perfect for each other, but you’re just in two different places in life. The timing bums me out sometimes. This is why I think VOLUME is so important. The more numbers you play, the greater chance you’re giving yourself to find what you really want.

]]> By: Honey http://honeyandlance.com/honeys-take-the-key-to-successful-relationships/comment-page-1#comment-375 Honey Thu, 10 Apr 2008 17:49:49 +0000 http://honeyandlance.com/honeys-take-the-key-to-successful-relationships#comment-375 Dateable Dork--I do think there's a certain growth factor at work in someone's ability to be honest (it doesn't happen from the beginning), and Lance's suggestion of experience/volume of relationships is key. It's tough to be the one that others learn from rather than the one they end up with, though! Especially if you're in a place where you're ready to be honest. Sometimes I wonder how much of my relationship with the BF was due to finally meeting the right guy and how much was due to me finally being in a place where I could be with someone. He's an amazing fellow to be sure, but if I had met him 5 years earlier I think I wouldn't have been able to appreciate or match his finest qualities (not that I'd have characterized it that way--to me he'd just be some dude I went on two dates with five years ago). You know? <em>Honey's last blog post..<a href='http://honeyandlance.com/honeys-take-the-key-to-successful-relationships' rel="nofollow">Honey's Take: The Key To Successful Relationships</a></em> Dateable Dork–I do think there’s a certain growth factor at work in someone’s ability to be honest (it doesn’t happen from the beginning), and Lance’s suggestion of experience/volume of relationships is key. It’s tough to be the one that others learn from rather than the one they end up with, though! Especially if you’re in a place where you’re ready to be honest.

Sometimes I wonder how much of my relationship with the BF was due to finally meeting the right guy and how much was due to me finally being in a place where I could be with someone. He’s an amazing fellow to be sure, but if I had met him 5 years earlier I think I wouldn’t have been able to appreciate or match his finest qualities (not that I’d have characterized it that way–to me he’d just be some dude I went on two dates with five years ago). You know?

Honey’s last blog post..Honey’s Take: The Key To Successful Relationships

]]> By: The Dateable Dork http://honeyandlance.com/honeys-take-the-key-to-successful-relationships/comment-page-1#comment-373 The Dateable Dork Thu, 10 Apr 2008 11:49:38 +0000 http://honeyandlance.com/honeys-take-the-key-to-successful-relationships#comment-373 Honey - great post. I especially agree with what you said about getting the truth out there early on. If you can't be honest with yourself about who you are and what you want, you are doomed to a life of failed relationships. It drives me crazy when I meet people like this, and I hate making that investment only to find out later than the guy I'm dating is really a douchebag. *sigh* <em>The Dateable Dork's last blog post..<a href='http://thedateabledork.typepad.com/thedateabledork/2008/04/snapshot-sexual.html' rel="nofollow">Snapshot: sexual fantasies</a></em> Honey – great post. I especially agree with what you said about getting the truth out there early on. If you can’t be honest with yourself about who you are and what you want, you are doomed to a life of failed relationships. It drives me crazy when I meet people like this, and I hate making that investment only to find out later than the guy I’m dating is really a douchebag. *sigh*

The Dateable Dork’s last blog post..Snapshot: sexual fantasies

]]> By: Hot Alpha Female http://honeyandlance.com/honeys-take-the-key-to-successful-relationships/comment-page-1#comment-364 Hot Alpha Female Wed, 09 Apr 2008 08:32:30 +0000 http://honeyandlance.com/honeys-take-the-key-to-successful-relationships#comment-364 "A successful relationship is one where both people are looking for the same thing, and find it in each other" You know what Honey?? That is one of the best ways to put that. N its so true. It also reminds me of the saying that true love isn't about staring at eachother ... but looking together in the same direction. I think a lot of times we forget that where we are headed in life is sooo important. Having an ideal partner not only means that you guys support eachother .. but that you can also inspire eachother and bring out the best in one another. Great post HAF <em>Hot Alpha Female's last blog post..<a href='http://hotalphafemale.blogspot.com/2008/04/why-sometimes-its-good-to-be-btch.html' rel="nofollow">Why Sometimes Its Good To Be A B*TCH!</a></em> “A successful relationship is one where both people are looking for the same thing, and find it in each other”

You know what Honey?? That is one of the best ways to put that. N its so true.

It also reminds me of the saying that true love isn’t about staring at eachother … but looking together in the same direction.

I think a lot of times we forget that where we are headed in life is sooo important. Having an ideal partner not only means that you guys support eachother .. but that you can also inspire eachother and bring out the best in one another.

Great post

HAF

Hot Alpha Female’s last blog post..Why Sometimes Its Good To Be A B*TCH!

]]> By: Honey http://honeyandlance.com/honeys-take-the-key-to-successful-relationships/comment-page-1#comment-361 Honey Wed, 09 Apr 2008 02:33:37 +0000 http://honeyandlance.com/honeys-take-the-key-to-successful-relationships#comment-361 Lilly, you're absolutely right! It's hard to pick just a couple when relationships are so complex and so much goes into forming and maintaining them. Lilly, you’re absolutely right! It’s hard to pick just a couple when relationships are so complex and so much goes into forming and maintaining them.

]]> By: Lilly http://honeyandlance.com/honeys-take-the-key-to-successful-relationships/comment-page-1#comment-360 Lilly Wed, 09 Apr 2008 01:12:03 +0000 http://honeyandlance.com/honeys-take-the-key-to-successful-relationships#comment-360 And support. And support.

]]> By: Lilly http://honeyandlance.com/honeys-take-the-key-to-successful-relationships/comment-page-1#comment-359 Lilly Wed, 09 Apr 2008 01:11:37 +0000 http://honeyandlance.com/honeys-take-the-key-to-successful-relationships#comment-359 Respect is another big one. Respect is another big one.

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