About the Author

Honey's main interests are online dating, long distance dating, and long term relationships. She met her boyfriend on MySpace and they have been exclusive since their first date over three years ago. Currently they live in Tempe, Arizona. Honey graduated with her PhD in Composition and Rhetoric in May 2009. You can contact Honey via email here or online here.

Honey’s 2009 Year In Review

I thought that DD’s post on her year in review was a great way to review, encapsulate, and reflect on what had passed, so I decided to give it a go as well. It seems like the best way to set myself up for my New Year’s resolutions, which will be my next post. 2009 was kind of a wild ride, and I’m aiming for more stability in 2010.


January started off kind of rough, as I was battling a kidney infection, turning out not to be a great snowboarder (despite Jake’s attempts to get me to enjoy it), and financial woes (hey, what else is new, the recession was in full swing). The big highlight was the Dooney & Burke wallet that Jake’s mom got me in a failed attempt to manipulate me into getting him to make up with her. I loooove this wallet and still admire it on a practically daily basis.


February also kind of sucked, as Jake didn’t get his expected raise, I got furlough, and our cat Hailey died of complications from diabetes. However, we managed to get a handle on our grocery spending, which was a huge relief for me. We did manage to enjoy Valentine’s day even though ours turned out kind of strange. Bigger deals, however, were probably dealing with the recession, which sort of made me realize I’m a “real” adult now. Oh, and I pissed a lot of people off by arguing that home ownership is for suckers. Something I still believe 100%, btw.


Since I hadn’t pissed off enough people in February, I decided to kick off March by arguing that stay-at-home moms are really just prostitutes. On the plus side, the year started looking up, as moving to a smaller place closer to my work made a huge difference in my happiness level. I also finished up my PhD work in preparation for graduation, started to appreciate the stability of my relationship with Jake, and helped him celebrate his 30th birthday. Things seemed to be turning around.


I realized that I give great head, although to be fair I never assumed otherwise! I was feeling comfortable enough after the move to start considering whether I wanted to add anything to my plate – perhaps taking classes or doing some freelance work on the side. I also took some time out to figure out what makes Jake and I tick, and reflected on those moments where you realize that you can’t hide your real self any longer – it’s time for “the talk.”


Probably my favorite month of the year. I got an awesome tax return, though it was largely due to being unemployed for a significant portion of the previous year. Jake and I celebrated our three-year anniversary and one year of living together, and went to Vegas with some friends to celebrate the fact that I graduated and became Dr. Honey! We also visited the Desert Botanical Gardens, which is

the type of thing that I just love. Check out some pics! I feel very lucky to live where I do, not least because I’m avoiding all the snowy nastiness the rest of the country is currently dealing with.


I decided that I wanted to start cooking as a hobby, which gave Jake some pretty awesome bragging rights among his friends. As I gain experience I’ve realized that I’ve improved a ton over the last year, and am looking forward to using my new Cuisinart to make everything from hummus to peanut butter to pastries. Getting hit on by an old friend was a pleasant surprise, as was being offered a freelance position that made up for the amount of pay I’d lost due to furloughs at my main job.


July was pretty rough again. Jake gets overworked every summer (though we didn’t realize it until this year because this was his second summer), so things get stressful at home too. Part of this was alleviated by my vacation, a rather spectacular one I must say, but it all sort of fell apart when Jake’s binge drinking led to an indescretion that almost ended our relationship. This led to some self-reflection about the difference between appearing successful and being successful.


Some big things happening in August – additional revelations about what had happened in July with Jake, a Weight Watchers success, turning 30, and realizing how much you can improve relationships by being super aware of your love styles. Everyone should try that exercise with their significant other or even on a first date.


My Weight Watchers success leads to hot sweaty sex after the gym, Jake and I talk about what kind of engagement ring I want (and he thinks it’s totally adorable!), and another old friend hits on me online, but it’s a lot less pleasant than the other fellow. Then I’m temporarily panicked about a mystery hickey before I get to the bottom of it and Jake and I branch out into some pretty awesome YouPorn viewing. Finally, I get some critical Insight Into a Guy’s Mind – who can’t use some of that?


It turns out that misunderstandings can last for years – here’s a funny one where Jake thought a story about a jerk I’d dated in the past was actually about Lance! I also found out that there might be an awesome job opportunity for me here in Phoenix, which we’re still waiting to hear about before making long-term plans regarding whether to move or not. However, in a manifestation of one of the pros of my current position, I attended an awesome session on negotiation that included some really relevant gender-related tips. Finally, in typical Honey and Lance fashion, we have a friendly disagreement about inviting someone over to cook for a first date.


Despite the fact that overall Jake and I have an awesome relationship, we are always working on it consciously. An e-mail exchange highlights how. We also have so much sex I lose count, inspired partly by a trip to the desert where I finally fulfill not one, but two of his all-time fantasies. You can tell we’re secure in our relationship because he’s not even fazed when a ridiculously hot guy sends me chocolate covered strawberries! Oh, well, I guess that’s a good thing 😉


Our system has long been that I do the household chores and Jake pays for dinner – if only he’d told me sooner! I also get some awesome Christmas gifts, but then again so does Jake – in the form of a sexy outfit (one that I wear, not him…). I have an epiphany about why most LTRs end, and ring out 2009 with a sex sprain. Not bad, I say!

How was your 2009 overall? Let me know in the comments below! Next posts will include a Vegas overview and some New Year’s resolutions. Here’s to 2010!