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Honey is an expert on online dating and long term relationships. She's based in Flagstaff, Arizona and has happily been in a relationship for two years running. Honey graduates with her PhD in Composition and Rhetoric in December of 2008. You can contact Honey via email here or online here.

The Nicest Surprise

I came home yesterday to the nicest surprise! It was nice too, after the weekend I’d had. You see, I do the vast majority of the household chores. This is partly because the BF’s job revolves around billable hours so I am home before he does, and partly because as a Virgo (however on the cusp with Leo I am), I have a much lower tolerance for clutter than he does.

In response to Dadshouse’s call that we let something slide for a week, I’d not panicked about the fact that the dishes had piled up in the sink all week. I frequently do them on Saturday anyway, get two loads done and then have everything clean for the week. Then, to my surprise, the BF offered to do the dishes. He said that I do them WAY more than he does and that this wasn’t even catching up, simply pitching in a little bit.

Considering that the weekend before I’d told him that I hate dishes and vacuuming as much as he does, but that I hate hearing him complain about it even more so I generally do it so he will just shut up, I couldn’t help but agree!

Friday night goes by. Saturday day. Saturday night. Sunday day. I am getting increasingly annoyed because one of the reasons that I end up doing them is that I can’t stand sitting around the house if there are chores to be done. Finally he gets them done on Sunday after I have practically had an aneurism. However, we manage to end the weekend on a good (read: we totally had hot sex) note.

I had offered to go by PetSmart on Monday after work because all the animals were out of practically everything and it couldn’t wait; I had further offered to go to the grocery store on Tuesday because I had Veteran’s Day off and the BF didn’t.

Traffic was awful and I didn’t get home until after 7, which is unusual for me. The BF, shockingly, was home! He usually doesn’t get home until after 7 and sometimes later, so I was excited. The car was stuffed full of cat litter and etc. and I remember being kind of annoyed because I thought he’d come out and help me but he didn’t.

But it turns out that’s because he got off work before 5, bought new glasses (our old ones were on the way out to the tune of somehow going from 8 to like 4–I’m sure you’ve been there), some beer for my day off, a bottle of riesling for us to share (which as a bonus is in a black-cat shaped bottle), he had cleaned up some cat-related stains on the carpet, and cleaned every single bathroom. This is, IMO, one of the top 5 nicest things he has ever done, largely because it is so ordinary in its scope and made my daily life so much easier.

In return I spent my day off doing the grocery shopping (which for us entails 3 stores) and cooking. I made a loaf of banana bread, a large batch of vegan mulligatawny stew, and a new marinade of baked tofu that I’m very excited about. I was home in the morning because we were having all our toilets fixed (everything slowly started to run over time) but then spent the afternoon watching all the tv shows that he hates while drinking beer and cooking some old favorites and some (hopefully) new delicious recipes.

It was a good day, and I love him so much.

If this post made you want to do the pile of dishes in YOUR sink, you might also enjoy:

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11 Comments »

Comment by lisaqNo Gravatar
2008-11-12 08:35:04

You definitely are one lucky girl! One day I’m going to get over being jealous. Hehe :D
lisaq´s last blog post…Dating Makes You Want to Die (But You Have to Do it Anyway)

 
Comment by single mom seekingNo Gravatar
2008-11-12 15:35:32

Aaaaah!

Getting rid of clutter does make for good sex, doesn’t it?

single mom seeking´s last blog post…The man I hope to love

Comment by HoneyNo Gravatar
2008-11-12 17:55:14

Yes, it does! They should write that into the Virgo horoscope: she’ll have sex on the counter…as long as it’s clean!

Honey´s last blog post…The Nicest Surprise

 
 
Comment by lilez0521No Gravatar
2008-11-13 14:53:21

A little off topic, but what does IMO mean?

Comment by LanceNo Gravatar
2008-11-13 16:49:10

In my opinion.

 
 
Comment by dadshouseNo Gravatar
2008-11-13 15:08:54

As a single dad, I reward myself doing the dishes with… oh, never mind. :-)
dadshouse´s last blog post…High Cost of Company

 
Comment by LanerisNo Gravatar
2008-11-14 05:24:18

It is really proved scientifically that women find men doing household stuff sexy.

 
Comment by Me ThinksNo Gravatar
2008-11-14 11:02:07

Interesting stuff. I don’t know if you’ve seen this or not, I read it on another blog (Whatley, you can just google the phrase) over the summer and its stuck with me:

The five projections of love are Touch, Time, Words, Actions and Presents.

You seem really task-oriented and I think one (if not the MOST) of your preferred ways to show love is Actions. And the BF’s act of cleaning was probably the most valuable way he could express his love for you.

Conversely, if you determine what his preferred one (or two) projections are, then the most loving thing you could do is to express your love to him through that method.

So thats some powerful non-verbal communication.
And the hot sex probably helped :)

Comment by HoneyNo Gravatar
2008-11-14 15:44:28

Hi, MeThinks, the BF and I took a “Love Styles” quiz when we’d been dating for a little while that had the same five-pronged measure. It turns out that my preferred love style is touch BY FAR, and my second preferred love style is quality time. The BF’s first preference is quality time, though I am currently drawing a blank as to his backup.

It is definitely helpful to know these things…I always thought that touch was my least favorite, but it turns out that’s because I get totally weirded out if the touch is coming from someone I’m not deeply connected to. He gives me a big hug before I leave for work in the morning and another when he gets home at night…it’s the best part of my day.

Honey´s last blog post…Man Gets Dumped For Being Excellent Boyfriend

 
 
Comment by NewWrldYankeeNo Gravatar
2008-11-15 02:18:08

That is amazing! It means so much more, like you said with the Obama romance post, when a man thinks of your needs, as opposed to just buying you things. Unless it is something you need - like a shower curtain. It shows actual thought of you when you’re not around. And that is the most touching thing about it.

All the flowers and chocolate in the world don’t equate to one act of thinking of the other person.

NewWrldYankee´s last blog post…You Can Make Your Move to Europe - Part III How to Study Abroad

 
Comment by TNo Gravatar
2008-11-17 23:03:38

Aw! Doesn’t it make a difference when they do something that proves that they listen to you?!?!

That totally makes me hot too! :)
T´s last blog post…Mr. Unavailable and the Fallback Girl

 
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