Why Having 5 Girlfriends is a Good Thing

This post is in response to Honey’s post here, and also part 2 of my original article on 5 girlfriends.

multiple hot chicks

(Live in a state of abundance.)

When I say harem, I mean “dating” multiple girls at the same time and having sex with all of them (or at least several). In pickup parlance, this is referred to as mLTR (multiple long term relationships). This arrangement works if you’re upfront and totally honest with these women, and practicing safe sex. Fellas, if you’re getting to this level, make sure you establish what you’re about from the get-go. Doing the mLTR thing will only work if you’ve got totally solid game and the girls know it. If you’re not upfront about your pimp status, they’ll think you’re simply skeezing around, or even “cheating” if you’ve accidentally fallen into a traditional bf-gf model with any one of them.

It’s also perfectly fine to date multiple women and not have sex with any of them, or maybe just one. This is a safe alternative and you can achieve approximately the same level of fulfillment and independence that I’ll talk about below.

Dating multiple people is something that most unmarried HB’s do at some point when they’re not locked up in LTR’s. This often includes having sex with one or more partners. Have you ever met a chick who said she was just going through a dating phase? Chances are she’s playing the field and sleeping with a couple of dudes. Think Samantha from Sex in the City. I met a 9 over the holiday who admitted she was in a dating phase and averaged a new sexual partner every week. Think about that for a second. One of her new years resolutions was to NOT have sex until June or until she found a steady. (BTW, I didn’t pull the chick, although I thought about it.)

For the newbies out there who are trying to score a 9 or 10, it’s important to make this realization: hot chicks can get sex whenever they want. They have choice and live in a state of abundance. That’s an important realization to make, because now you can understand why an HB will blow off a guy with weak game. She has so many guys approaching her that she can afford to be selective. In fact, she has to, for safety purposes.

So, for aspiring pimps, it’s important to make realization #2: YOU can turn the table and live in a state of abundance also. Not only is this a fulfilling and exciting lifestyle, but it can go a long way towards your emotional development. Dating several women and practicing harem maintenance will make you less clingy and needy. It forces you to get organized and work out your social calendar. When you get to the point where you’ve had plenty of sex and dated tons of chicks, you begin to realize, damn, I don’t need a girlfriend to feel good about myself. Having a women doesn’t validate me. I’m perfectly happy doing my own thing.

“I’m a cool dude and I can work on my own projects and get laid whenever I want to.”

That’s a powerful point for a man to reach. It’s emotional independence, and it allows us to reclaim our masculinity and stop being chodes, douchebags, and wussies.

Another good reason to maintain a harem is for variety. Why get locked up with a chick who gets on your nerves and is obviously not a good match? In case you hadn’t noticed, most couples aren’t good matches for each other, which is a hard and cold reality. If you date multiple women you can be fulfilled on many different levels. Want a girlfriend you can watch sports with? Need someone you can party with on Friday nights? Keep adding them to the lineup. Think of it as a team approach to sexual and emotional fulfillment.


After you’ve done the mLTR, you’ll be much more emotionally stable, more in touch with your purpose and your masculinity, and better prepared to take on a single LTR and satisfy a single girlfriend.

On the flipside, I think it’s totally cool for a chick to date and have multiple partners also. A true pimp doesn’t judge a woman as being a slut. Slut is an outdated concept, just like the old model of dating. We’re part of the secret society (credit TD) of pimps and if you’re in the secret society, you’re cool. Sex is just a thing we do. Conventional notions of dating and romance are dead as fuck, and I say good riddance.


(All three of them? Yup, all three.)

Note: If you’re going to sleep with multiple hotties, get tested, cover your jimmy, and make sure you don’t get a friggin disease. I agree with Honey on this subject, using a rubber sucks, but whatever you’re still busting a nut and not getting elephantitis of the balls.

  • http://www.gardino.info gardino

    I’m not seeing the reason why 5? Because in my religion we only permit to have 4 wife… :)

    gardino’s last blog post..Did you know why you end up alone last valentine?

  • Lilly

    Great thread. This is so true. I’ve always had my entire life, except for the women thing, under complete control and now that I’ve become a pimp I feel like things are so unbelievably better it’s not even funny. There are so many women out there with so many great qualities and if you’re a great guy you shouldn’t have to be stuck with one chick who’s lame at this or lame at that. When you date multiple women you are providing them with a fun experience and giving them so much more each time you hang out as opposed to hanging out with one chick when you watch the game who hates sports. F that. Great post, Lance.

  • http://www.hotalphafemale.blogspot.com Hot Alpha Female

    You this reminds me of something …someone once said (that was very specific wasn’t it)

    But I believe the guy was describing how guys go these dating phases. Where they want to date lots of chicks and play the field. Then they get sick of this and want to settle down with one chick. So they do settle down .. become too wussy again and then go back to being an ass and playing the field …

    Interesting insight .. but I think that the guy might be onto something there

    Not about being the ass bit .. but more of the fact that you have ups and down .. and you want different things at different times … N the fact that it’s a vicious cycle (sorry had to say that =)

    Hot Alpha Female


    Hot Alpha Female’s last blog post..One Of The Most Powerful Ways to Create Attraction – And It Has Nothing To Do With The Way You Look Or What Car You Drive …

  • http://honeyandlance.com/contact Lance

    I’ve actually been thinking a lot about the concept of cycling, or basically going through phases where you date multiple people, then take on one LTR, then back to the mLTR’s. A lot of people go through it and I think it’s actually a good way to gain experience and bank it for when you’re ready to go into a “settling” phase. I haven’t investigated it thoroughly. Maybe I’ll write a post about it in the future.

  • http://www.hotalphafemale.blogspot.com Hot Alpha Female

    Wait lance … are you actually admitting that there is a settling phase for you?

    I jsut thought that you would be a PUA for the rest of your life lol

    While im all for PUA’s and what not … i steer well clear of them .. because i know its going to take then around 5-10 years to settle down

    Hot Alpha Female


    Hot Alpha Female’s last blog post..One Of The Most Powerful Ways to Create Attraction – And It Has Nothing To Do With The Way You Look Or What Car You Drive …

  • http://honeyandlance.com/contact Lance

    Nah, I’m a just a pimp for as long as I need to be. I’ll settle into a single LTR at some point, maybe in the second half of this year.

    Most PUA’s are just guys who have skills, but they use those skills because they want to find the right girl. There’s no time limit; it could happen tomorrow or next year. I’ve heard it described as going to social college; do a couple of years and get out when you’re ready.

  • http://honeyandlance.com/contact Honey

    HAF, while I can’t speak for all PUAs, Lance is in it to gain experience and social value so that he can be a worthy partner one day when he does settle down.

    When I was “single,” I didn’t think of myself as a PUA, I thought of what I was doing as dating, but I think the end result’s the same. I couldn’t be the mature and (relatively) self-actualized partner I am now if I didn’t have all those past experiences to draw on.

    Lance is an awesome guy and a girl would be lucky to have him in a LTR. However, I can’t say that was always the case 😉

  • http://www.hotalphafemale.blogspot.com Hot Alpha Female

    lance lance lance … thats really great to hear man.

    I like hearing that, because a lot of girls have the mis conceptions that guys that have skills abuse their “power”.

    So i guess its good news for the girl .. that you eventually end up being with .. not so much for all the ones on the side lol

    Hot Alpha Female


    Hot Alpha Female’s last blog post..Women Are Still Not Asking For What They Really Want!

  • http://www.hotalphafemale.blogspot.com Hot Alpha Female

    I definately agree that dating gives you the experiences that you can learn from when you enter into a LTR.

    Its a good time to really get to know yourself and a whole bunch of other people aswell … To know what you really would like to have in an ideal relationship.

    I think some people that get into LTR straight off the bat are missing some critical elements in gaining happy and whole relationships, simply because they don’t have enough experience.




    Hot Alpha Female’s last blog post..Women Are Still Not Asking For What They Really Want!

  • http://honeyandlance.com/ Lance

    Hoho, wink wink, very funny.

  • http://dadshouseblog.com dadshouse

    As always, Lance, you got game. I’m pinging you back with my article on How To Date Four Women At Once. As a 40-something single dad, my goals are a little different, but as a guy my needs are the same. The harem approach really does work.

    And I totally agree that you don’t need a woman to validate yourself. A lot of egotistical guys use women, corporate success, etc. for just that. Best to just know you’re the man without anyone telling you.

    dadshouse’s last blog post..How to Date Four Women at Once