About the Author

Honey's main interests are online dating, long distance dating, and long term relationships. She met her boyfriend on MySpace and they have been exclusive since their first date over three years ago. Currently they live in Tempe, Arizona. Honey graduated with her PhD in Composition and Rhetoric in May 2009. You can contact Honey via email here or online here.

Happy New Year: Best Of Honey and Lance 2008

Well, after ruining Thanksgiving on purpose (by having my wisdom teeth removed) and then ruining Christmas by accident (by thinking that I could cure my UTI on my own only to have things go horribly, horribly wrong) my first goal for 2009 is to not be in any pain or on any unpleasant medications during any of the major holidays!  Keep your fingers crossed for me.

But other than those two extremely unfortunate events, 2008 was a very good year.  Lance and I have really enjoyed getting this site off the ground and becoming part of such a thoughtful, diverse community.  So let’s start off the new year by appreciating the old, shall we?  Without further ado, the best of Honey and Lance 2008!

Lance’s Top 5

Lance’s focus is on social artistry…using skills that are typically taught in the context of “pickup” to not only pick up members of the opposite sex (or the same sex, actually…whatever floats your boat sexually) but also to expand your social circle naturally by becoming a confident and worthy human being.  His top 5 blogs of 2008 include:

5. The Dirtiest Filthiest Sex Ever. Because we’re all jealous.  Bonus for the elephant video.

4.  Anatomy of Three Pickups. This field report is insightful and right on the money.  Plus, Lance tells the story of how he picked me up – long before he was into “pickup” – when I was on a date with someone else!  Maybe if you’re all very, very good, we’ll tell you our breakup story in 2009.

3.  10 Signs You Might Be a Complete Douchebag. Don’t take another step or go to another club unless/until you figure out if this is you: douchebag(If it is you, read all of Honey and Lance immediately.  Do not pass go, do not collect $200.)

2. How Much Sex Ed Are You Giving Your Kids? At the moment, pickup and social artistry is very often something that guys who were socially awkward when young end up getting into because they’re tired of being alone/nervous/frustrated around women and in social situations.  One of Lance’s main beefs with society is that it’s possible for young men (and, to a much lesser degree, young women) to never learn these social skills in a structured way in the first place.  Here, Lance’s take on what’s really wrong with the world (and how to fix it).

1. 5 Ways To Be More Attractive, Stop Sucking, and Dominate Your Life. Lance’s stated goal here is to blow your mind with some serious epiphany-like shit, and I think he’s right on the money.  Ironically, being attractive to members of the opposite sex has a lot to do with forgetting about the end goal of getting laid/finding a monogamous relationship and more with becoming the kind of person that others want to be around.  He gives some seriously blunt and immediately applicable advice on how to do that.

Honey’s Top 5

5.  Honey’s Perfect First Date. Not only did it win Dadshouse’s Kickass Contest, it’s the story of how the BF and I met – and it’s actually pretty classic game, at least from my end.  The BF never knew what hit him.

4.  Finances and Dating. Unfortunately, the issue of the economy remains just as timely now as it did in September 2008 when this article was written.  Money is the #1 stressor in committed monogamous relationships (behind even sex, which is #2, at least according to Honey’s Totally Biased “Fact” Generator), and having an idea of what your financial philosophy is and being able to talk about money in a rational way and make compromises is an absolutely indispensable skill if you plan on being in a LTR.  Think about it.

3.  Work, Circadian Rhythms, and Sex Drive. Since sex is the #2 stressor in a committed monogamous relationship, it pays to examine some of the factors that lead to sex…or in this case, the factors that lead to no sex.  When you’re having casual, NSA sex, then the adrenaline rush accompanying the fact that you’re having sex at all (since it’s not a sure thing) and the excitement of being with someone new make it easy to stay up late or go against your body’s internal rhythms.  But what do you do when life intrudes?

2.  Confession: I Can Only Get Off With My Vibrator! Sometimes (or in my case always), you have to take matters into your own hands.  But that doesn’t mean you can’t incorporate your significant other…

1.  Top 5 Benefits of Monogamous Sex. When I’m not on antibiotics or recovering from recent oral surgery, I’m having more sex now than at any other point in my life – not only that, it’s of significantly higher quality.  Here, the top five reasons that monogamy’s not what you think, it’s better than you think.

Hats Off To You

Of course, we wouldn’t be where we are without all of you.  Here are some of the most lively roundtables and other discussions that we’ve had with you this year:

  • Our Virginity Roundtable kicked ass…check out what everyone had to say!  And read the comments in our original call to write, too.
  • Our First Kickass Contest also sparked quite a discussion…you can check out our winners here and the links to all the participants’ awesome entries here.
  • And of course, we’re inspired by many of the thought leaders out there.  Check out Lance’s breakdown of his top seven here, and keep your eyes peeled for the rest of the series profiling each of these folks individually.

Thanks for reading, and if you haven’t set a New Year’s Resolution already, pick a goal you’ll stick to and add us to your Reader in 2009!

  • http://www.thedateabledork.com The Dateable Dork

    Honey and Lance – Congrats on an awesome year! One of the reasons I think your blog totally rocks is because you’re both so blatantly, ridiculously honest about everything, and sometimes we all need a little slap in the face. Keep up the great work! : )

    I’ll be waiting with baited breath for the H&L breakup story…

  • http://20-forty.com/ lisaq

    You guys rock! Happy 2009!

  • http://dadshouseblog.com dadshouse

    Honey and Lance – you guys rock! I’ve loved your blog ever since I stumbled upon it in early 2008!!!