A week or so ago the BF and I joined some friends for beer. These friends are newlyweds, and are very funny to hang out with because they didn’t know each other very well before they got married (maybe a year and a half) and are very open as far as telling stories about their sex life and all the weirdness that comes with living with someone (I don’t think either of them lived with anyone prior to moving in together just before the wedding).
(Isn’t love grand?)
Anyway, the bar where we were had a bunch of different board games and things, so we ended up playing Pictionary. It turns out the BF and I aren’t very good at this game, so there were lots of funny pseudo-arguments about how someone’s drawing was awesome and the other person should have been able to guess. One of my last drawings was for the term “punk band” and afterward the BF was giving me all these tips on how I should have drawn the Bad Religion symbol, etc., so that he would have gotten it.
Then it came out that he basically defines himself as liking punk music almost exclusively. I knew he listened to Bad Religion but didn’t know that they were a punk band. I guess The Offspring are, too, which I also learned. He was shocked that I didn’t know these things after dating him for two and a half years.
I told him that my understanding of the things that he likes to do is determined by how many times he has done them since he has known me. He says that this is not a good measure to use. What do you guys think? Here is a brief breakdown of things that he says he likes, versus how often he has done them in the last two and a half years:
- Punk Music. Times he has attended a punk concert since I met him: 0
- Shooting/Guns. Times he has been shooting since I met him: 1 (shooting range in Vegas). Okay, 2 if you count the time our petsitter got her dates mixed up and the BF pulled a gun on her when she came into the house.
- Offroading. Times he has been offroading since I met him: 0
- Snowboarding. Times he has been snowboarding since I met him: 1 (day trip, one afternoon)
I maintain that if you really love to do things, then you make the time to do them no matter what your situation. For example, he also really defines himself by loving to gamble, and we have been to Vegas 4 or 5 times since we met, and have gone to the Arizona casinos a bunch, and we play and watch poker at home or with friends quite a bit.
I think most people use my measure. Wouldn’t you?
If this post made you wonder what other people think about relationship issues, you might enjoy: