I Got Cockblocked By Fluffy and Spike

I engineered a meetup with Kitty on Sunday night, but I didn’t close. Here’s what happened. I ran my text game as described in my previous post. She responded that she was interested but was spending the day with family. AND, she thought she was coming down with a cold (yeah right), but if she was feeling up to it, she’d contact me tonight. Cool, it looked like there was still a connection and my unintentional jackass move from yesterday didn’t blow me out.

I got a text at 8:00 pm. She said if I was still up for meeting, I could come over at 9:00. I responded back with an enthusiastic affirmative. I said I’d bring a bottle of wine and a movie. She texted back, just bring the wine, forget the movie. Sweet.

So I went to her house and everything was groovy. Except, she had these two dogs and they totally f’ed up my game. IN FACT, when she introduced her dogs, she said, “This is Fluffy and that one is Spike. They’re both really needy. They’re real game killers.”

Game killers! I couldn’t help but chuckle. Of course, I wasn’t chuckling as the evening progressed and the dogs were cock blocking the hell out of me. Have you ever tried to put the moves on with a chick who has a boy dog? Forget it…the dogs get jealous and will basically try to gnaw your genitals off. Cockblocked by the dogs. Karma biting me in the ass, now that I think about it.


(Oh great…guess I’m not getting any nooky tonight.)

Anyway, we got confy on the couch and had some pretty decent convo. Good to see the comfort I had built up from the other night was still there. We would makeout and every time I tried to escalate (remember my devious plan?), I got cock blocked by one of the dogs. Oh yeah, she had a cat too, and the cat would stare at us from the edge of the couch. It sucked.

This happened 2-3 times. Eventually, we moved to the bedroom, removed clothing, made out some more, escalated, and it freaking happened again (the dogs followed us in of course). It was getting pretty ridiculous. Fortunately for me, I’m a patient Gemini and I truly did find it amusing, so I didn’t flip out or anything.

Anyway, to make a long story short, we just spent the night together, no intense monkey sex, not even any head (although I offered). It was, I don’t know, it was kinda nice to spend time with a chick and goof around. It was fun.


Kitty is a cool chick, but it will be physically impossible to get my schwerve on with the two dogs shoving their snouts in my nuts every time I come over. What does that mean? Hell if I know. I had a good time, she had a good time, and for me that’s what it’s all about. I’ll see how I feel in a few days. We’ll probably see each other again.

I brought a “get laid or die trying” frame into the interaction and it totally didn’t work. I was miscalibrated and what I should have done was just be chill and let the game come to me. I actually switched frames mid-stream after I realized my game was crushed and went into normal Lance mode and it worked a lot better after that.

  • http://honeyandlance.com Honey

    I have two cats and the BF adopted a dog about a year ago. They are all three the neediest creatures on the face of the earth. When we both lived in Flagstaff it sucked because my apartment doesn’t have a bedroom door and there was no way to keep the cats out. Talk about game killer.

    The dog was actually found in a parking lot and after 2 months or so the BF said that he wanted to keep her. I had been miserable literally since the day he found her because she would either sleep between us or he (in an attempt to have her not be between us) would cuddle with her instead of me (SO not the way to prevent me from being pissed off).

    We almost broke up because of that dog.

    Eventually I said that he absolutely could not keep her unless the she slept in a crate. More recently, we banned the cats from the bedroom at night because one of them tries to sleep between us under the covers. All animals are game killers.

    Honey’s last blog post..I Got Cockblocked By Fluffy and Spike

  • http://honeyandlance.com/contact Lance

    That’s intense. I feel that pain.

    My pal Rob dated this one girl for 3 years. She had a huge Dalmation that would sleep in the bed between them. When I say huge, I think the dog was a 100 pounder. Obviously, that was a major game killer, and they actually broke up because of it. Ugh.

  • http://honeyandlance.com Honey

    Fortunately he was receptive to banning the dog from the bed, though he still sometimes lets her out of the crate in the morning if we sleep in (which kills morning nooky almost every time). It’s been a long process of trying not to let it bother me.

    In return, however, I was receptive about banning the cats from the bedroom (though it was slightly harder because one of the cats sings you a long song if you close a door–any door–including the front door). We’re slowly breaking him of it.

    We both agreed that any future animals will be banned from the bed from day 1, which will make it much easier.

    Honey’s last blog post..I Got Cockblocked By Fluffy and Spike

  • debra

    Lance, I’ve got to ask you this…..I went out twice this weekend with a new guy (1st date and 2nd, back to back Sat/Sun). Sat I was sure he was running Lance quality game, but he’s awesome and I was having a blast, so I accepted the invitation for the next day. Sunday, when he realized the game wasn’t working on me, he relaxed and we had an awesome time, all day. So when you said “I realized my game was crushed and went into normal Lance mode and it worked a lot better after that..” what do you do now? Back to the game, or do you stay normal Lance, since it seemed to work out? Have you decided what you want out of this, or even what you really think about the girl? What does the game player do when he discovers it just might not be about the game, but about the girl?

  • http://www.worklovelife.com Holly Hoffman

    ALL REASONS WHY I GOT RID OF MY TWO CATS. Not to mention it’s frustrating to constantly walk around with cat hair all over the freakin’ place. Oh, and cat litter in the bathroom… and on the bathroom floor… and pretty much anywhere else they could drag it. I couldn’t lock them out of the bedroom either – they would meow and scratch at the door. MAJOR MOOD KILLER.

    Date #4 has two dogs and they could’ve f*ed it up royally last night. However, they were cool and actually left us alone to chill out… hell, I don’t know where, but they were outta sight.

    So, why didn’t she lock them out?? At any rate, it sounds like you may have learned something in the process…

    Holly Hoffman’s last blog post..Me & the Great Online Dating Experiment

  • http://honeyandlance.com Lance

    Great questions. The game is always about improving your interactions and having relationships (any types) of high value. For me, it’s never just about scoring. That’s not the case with all the playerz, but that’s my take.

    With that being said, I use game primarily to MEET and ATTRACT, because that’s what I sucked at previously. Before I got into social artistry, I was going on like 3-4 dates per year…now I go on 3-4 dates per month, minimum. Once I’ve attracted, I’m adept at just being a normal dude and hanging out with women…those skills came from 8+ years of being in LTR’s.

    The problem I grapple with is reading too much pickup literature and letting it get to my head. It’s easy to lose your balance and that’s why I was miscalibrated on Sunday night. I didn’t need to game her up because I was already in…all I had to do was show up.

    Debra, question for you. What types of game was your date doing, and what was different specifically on Sunday?? Just curious.

    Lance’s last blog post..I Got Cockblocked By Fluffy and Spike

  • http://dadshouseblog.com dadshouse

    I love the whole game discussion that Lance brings to the table. It’s way more fascinating reading it here than watching that Mystery guy on VH1. That seemed fake with challenges for TV. This is real life. (Though if Lance gets a hidden camera and starts posting Youtube clips, I’ll watch!)

    I want to hear Lance dissect Debra’s date’s game…

    btw – dogs and cats are a nuisance when you’re trying to get some. Take her to your place next time.

    dadshouse’s last blog post..Um, Good Morning, America?

  • debra

    I’ve been trying to figure out when my radar went off, and now I have probably over analyzed it, but let me see if I can describe his ‘game’. First, the date was perfectly planned, and he arranged everything in advance (which I thought was great, very tired of coffee and lunch dates). Tickets to the Punchline comedy club, then drinks at his favorite wine bar. Here’s where the red flags went off. Busy bar, we valet, walk in, and his friend, the bartender, has saved him a table near the bar and brought appetizers and the first really expensive, really great wine before I put my purse down. Having just read one of your posts on taking your dates to someplace you know the owner, I immediately thought of you and decided I was being played. The rest of the evening was really great, but it just felt like everything was too intentional, like he had a plan. He guided the conversation from the usual stuff very subtly to a more sexual conversation, in a very light, fun way.

    It was all fun, which is why I agreed to see him the next day, but it really wasn’t until the next day when it was clear that I was interested in him, but he wasn’t going to close the deal that I saw him let his guard down and just relax and be himself. And that’s when I really felt like I might want to actually get to know him, instead of just going along for a great time.

    All that said, I’m a little disturbed that you and Dad’s House are in my head while I’m out on dates! :)

  • Marta

    I have two dogs…I lock them downstairs when I have a potential staying the night. (And I give them a long-lasting chewy to keep them busy!) I think next time you go over to her place, bring them each a raw hide as a “present.”

  • http://honeyandlance.com/contact Lance

    Holy crap, that’s a fantastic idea! Not only will the dogs be occupied, but I’ll look like a smooth mf’er. I like it!

  • http://honeyandlance.com Honey

    Yes. Rawhide chewwies are the best! The BF and I use them anytime we want The Beast to leave us alone. Plus, gifties for pets…always a good thing in the eyes of a new girl…

    Honey’s last blog post..Problems With Pets

  • Marta

    p.s. to get extra points, you need to ask her if it’s okay for the dogs to have this present that you have brought along. (some dog owners are weird about treats/rawhides.)

  • http://honeyandlance.com/contact Lance

    Ooooh, me and DH are in your head? That’s kind of hot. What are we doing? Are we naked??

    Whoops…got sidetracked there for a sec. Yeah, when I structure my first dates I always start with something simple, like early drinks, and if it progresses well I’ll exercise one of several options, depending on the vibe of the interaction. Dinner would be option A. Back to my place for insane, rambunctious sex would be option B. Ice Cream would be option C. Etc etc. That way it doesn’t look or feel pre-planned. Note here, I always try to move the date to at least 3 different venues, but I NEVER give an itinerary past the first meeting place.

    You should update us on future dates with this guy. I want to see what game he’s got.

  • http://honeyandlance.com Honey

    On my first date with the BF, we met at a bar. I suggested it (largely, or rather entirely, because it was within walking distance of my house).

    He had been invited to a party later that night and was going to bounce there alone if things didn’t go well with me, but they did so he asked me to go with him, and I was subject to the “friend test.”

    I continued to have a fabulous time with him and as the party wound down suggested that we bounce to my house, where we had fantastic drunken sex. That’s right people, I’m moving in next week with a guy I slept with on the first date. Anything’s possible.

    Honey’s last blog post..Problems With Pets

  • http://dadshouseblog.com dadshouse

    Drunken first date sex is second only to sober second date sex with a tantric twist. Oh, screw it. Drunken second date sex is the best!

    dadshouse’s last blog post..How to Start Dating a Single Dad

  • http://honeyandlance.com Honey

    For me, the sex gets better and better the longer you’re with someone. Knowing what someone wants and likes, and using that as a baseline from which to experiment, is awesome! Being drunk is always okay, though 😉 The BF finds his senses are heightened if he “smokes” a little beforehand–I find it makes me fall asleep but am happy to let him have his fun!

    Honey’s last blog post..Problems With Pets