Comments on: Our First Kickass Contest

By: Hot Alpha Female » Blog Archive » What Defines A Successful Relationship? Its Not What You Think!

Tue, 20 May 2008 23:28:49 +0000

[...] What Defines A Successful Relationship? Its Not What You Think! posted by hotalphafemale “How do you define successful relationships, and what does it take to achieve that success?” [...]

By: What Does a Divorced Single Parent Know About Successful Relationships? « Dad’s House

Tue, 15 Apr 2008 19:24:42 +0000

[...] Does a Divorced Single Parent Know About Successful Relationships? In their first kickass contest, Honey and Lance asked the question: How do you define successful relationships, and what does it [...]

By: Lance

Lance — Sun, 13 Apr 2008 14:35:37 +0000

You’re so adorable! You’re like my little sister. We’ll keep this just between us…

By: Hot Alpha Female

Hot Alpha Female — Sun, 13 Apr 2008 13:18:18 +0000

No i was just making an observation.

Dont flatter yourself =)

HAF

Hot Alpha Female’s last blog post..If You Look Up To Me Then I’ll Look Down On You

By: Lance

Lance — Fri, 11 Apr 2008 14:37:43 +0000

HAF, are you flirting with me? Lance's last blog post..Honey's Take: The Key To Successful Relationships

By: Hot Alpha Female

Hot Alpha Female — Fri, 11 Apr 2008 05:23:38 +0000

Lance … you know if you took that picture you can actually see your own reflection in the card.

LMAO

hmmmm small things amuse small minds … but ohwell

HAF

Hot Alpha Female’s last blog post..Why Sometimes Its Good To Be A B*TCH!

By: Lance

Lance — Thu, 10 Apr 2008 13:43:28 +0000

This one came in late last night from 30+ over at the Reality Method blog:
http://realitymethod.com/2008/04/on-the-difficulty-of-defining-the-succesful-relationship/

Check it out…

By: SystemsThinker

SystemsThinker — Thu, 10 Apr 2008 09:30:28 +0000

Well, then communication it is - the golden key! In a manner of speaking, there really isn’t anything BUT communication in relationships. Whether verbal or non-verbal, a relationship really is nothing but an endless series of communications between people. That’s really it, there is nothing else. So from that standpoint, optimizing how you communicate with each other is the single most important thing you can do.

Then comes the question of how do you optimize communication. It’s no surprise that every relationship-related field from pickup arts to traditional marriage counseling is mostly focused on teaching healthier ways of communicating and resolving conflict.

The only other thing I’d add is that it’s also important to look at how you communicate with yourself when certain issues come up in the relationship as your inner and outer communication may mirror each other. But that’s a topic for another time.

SystemsThinker’s last blog post..Choosing Intimate Partners: To Repeat or Not to Repeat?

By: Honey

Honey — Thu, 10 Apr 2008 05:29:52 +0000

SystemsThinker, I agree wholeheartedly about communication. I think you could plug it in where I say “honesty” in my post and not be too far off what I was talking about. You have to admit what you want to yourself, and then be prepared to a) let someone else in, and b) talk about the process required to let someone in (because it’s never that simple).

Absolutely things are more unconscious, at least in the beginning–I knew my BF was “the one” on the first date, and here we are two years later seeing a financial planner and saving for a wedding. On the other hand, I never would have been able to sustain that early, easy momentum if I hadn’t been able–and willing–to talk through the rough spots. And there have been MANY.

Honey’s last blog post..Honey’s Take: The Key To Successful Relationships

By: SystemsThinker

SystemsThinker — Thu, 10 Apr 2008 02:53:14 +0000

Welcome Honey. I like your post, but I tend to think much of attraction is far more unconscious than conscious. So just agreeing consciously on what you want is not enough since we bring to relationships tons of baggage we ourselves may not even know about. In fact that baggage often determines who we attract and are attracted to.

I tend to think if I had to boil it down to one thing, it’s communication. If you can communicate, you will eventually work through issues and find the common goals and purpose of the relationship. If you can’t communicate in that open and generative way, then you will have a difficult time being truly intimate for a long time.

SystemsThinker’s last blog post..Choosing Intimate Partners: To Repeat or Not to Repeat?