Our First Kickass Contest

Update: A couple of bloggers emailed us and said they wanted to participate but were traveling thru the weekend…this includes Honey and myself (not that we’re eligible for prizes). Thus, we’re extending the contest deadline until Wednesday, April 9. Feel free to jump in.

Okay, people, here’s the deal. We’re holding our first contest. I’m holding the 1st place prize in my nimble little fingers:

giftcard_sm.jpg

Yes, that’s a $25 gift card from Borders. Redeemable at any Borders Store or online. Modest, I know, but that’s what we got. Pick up that new Eckhart Tolle book you’ve been eyeing.

Second prize is a $15 amazon.com gift certificate, which gets emailed to you.

So the contest is really simple. We’re looking for your take on a relationship question. Respondents can leave their advice/take/perspective in the comments section of this post. If you’re a blogger, feel free to post the response on your own blog and drop the link in our comments. As always, we’re looking for real deal advice, interesting perspectives, and the straight dope. Any embedded stories of wanton sex and extraordinary jackassery will, of course, get special consideration.

Feel free to respond to the comments by using the reply to this comment feature. The point of the contest is to get a bunch of different perspectives in one place and get people flaming communicating with one another. We’ve invited a number of our blogging colleagues to join the fray, to include dating advice columnists, married folk, social artists, and regular people who have interesting opinions.

Honey and I will judge. And by judge I mean pick based on a purely subjective basis. Contest closes on Monday, April 7. We’ll announce a winner next week.

Here’s the question:

“How do you define successful relationships, and what does it take to achieve that success?”

Fire away!!!

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  • http://dadshouseblog.com dadshouse

    A single dad weighs in: http://dadshouseblog.com/2008/04/07/bringing-order-to-a-single-parents-relationship-universe/

    Look forward to checking out everyone’s posts/comments. This contest was a great idea. Thanks for putting it together!

    dadshouse’s last blog post..Bringing Order to a Single Parent’s Relationship Universe

  • http://fearthattheoilsfromtheirskinwillgetintomyporesandthusmakemehavebadskintoo Trixie Firecracker

    Ok, here we go!

    A successful relationship is one that can survive past the initial stages of lust and evolve into a more mature form of both people liking each other of some sort (I am hesistant to call it “love” but that’s another story). In a successful relationship, both partners learn to compromise on divisions of labor issues to reach a happy medium. The unfortunate truth is that a successful relationship is run like a business, where efficiency and a division of labor are the name of the game to going the distance. A successful relationship is not one where the other person sweeps you off your feet and rides into the sunset with you, but one where both of you can live together for an extended period of time without wanting to defenestrate each other, one where both parties can agree on who does which chores, what position the toilet seat should be left in, and who gets to watch Battlestar Galactica at what time.

    How to we get there? To achieve that success, we must fail many times. Ok, we don’t necessarily have to, but I suppose that each failed relationship teaches us a lesson about what goes into a successful one. It is critical to find a compatible person, I suppose it’s like looking for a roommate, but you’re required to have sex with the person. Theoretically, one should have a list of ideal qualities in a roommate. The same list applies for a significant other. We just add more qualities to the list after each failed relationship. But no one ever said this stuff would be easy.

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  • http://www.baggagereclaim.co.uk NML

    I’ve posted! Was juuuuust about to go to sleep when I realised that I didn’t want to miss the deadline again! http://www.baggagereclaim.co.uk/getting-real-about-successful-relationships/

    Great posts by the way :-) Thanks for a cool contest x

    NML’s last blog post..Getting real about Successful Relationships

  • http://www.systemsthinker.com/ SystemsThinker

    I hope I’m not too late for the deadline but I just wrote a post that I think would be very relevant to this.

    It’s called Choosing Intimate Partners: To Repeat or Not to Repeat?.

    The post describes various views on why we attract the partners and patterns that we do and what to do about it once we become conscious of it. In other words, you could say the post looks at two different views of strategy to attain success through relationships. I hope you find it worthwhile.

    SystemsThinker’s last blog post..Choosing Intimate Partners: To Repeat or Not to Repeat?

  • http://honeyandlance.com Honey

    Thanks, SystemThinker! It’s something I have often thought about in the past myself, but I always appreciate new insight.

    Honey’s last blog post..Honey’s Take: The Key To Successful Relationships

  • http://www.systemsthinker.com/ SystemsThinker

    Welcome Honey. I like your post, but I tend to think much of attraction is far more unconscious than conscious. So just agreeing consciously on what you want is not enough since we bring to relationships tons of baggage we ourselves may not even know about. In fact that baggage often determines who we attract and are attracted to.

    I tend to think if I had to boil it down to one thing, it’s communication. If you can communicate, you will eventually work through issues and find the common goals and purpose of the relationship. If you can’t communicate in that open and generative way, then you will have a difficult time being truly intimate for a long time.

    SystemsThinker’s last blog post..Choosing Intimate Partners: To Repeat or Not to Repeat?

  • http://honeyandlance.com Honey

    SystemsThinker, I agree wholeheartedly about communication. I think you could plug it in where I say “honesty” in my post and not be too far off what I was talking about. You have to admit what you want to yourself, and then be prepared to a) let someone else in, and b) talk about the process required to let someone in (because it’s never that simple).

    Absolutely things are more unconscious, at least in the beginning–I knew my BF was “the one” on the first date, and here we are two years later seeing a financial planner and saving for a wedding. On the other hand, I never would have been able to sustain that early, easy momentum if I hadn’t been able–and willing–to talk through the rough spots. And there have been MANY.

    Honey’s last blog post..Honey’s Take: The Key To Successful Relationships

  • http://www.systemsthinker.com/ SystemsThinker

    Well, then communication it is – the golden key! :) In a manner of speaking, there really isn’t anything BUT communication in relationships. Whether verbal or non-verbal, a relationship really is nothing but an endless series of communications between people. That’s really it, there is nothing else. So from that standpoint, optimizing how you communicate with each other is the single most important thing you can do.

    Then comes the question of how do you optimize communication. It’s no surprise that every relationship-related field from pickup arts to traditional marriage counseling is mostly focused on teaching healthier ways of communicating and resolving conflict.

    The only other thing I’d add is that it’s also important to look at how you communicate with yourself when certain issues come up in the relationship as your inner and outer communication may mirror each other. But that’s a topic for another time.

    SystemsThinker’s last blog post..Choosing Intimate Partners: To Repeat or Not to Repeat?

  • http://honeyandlance.com/contact Lance

    This one came in late last night from 30+ over at the Reality Method blog:
    http://realitymethod.com/2008/04/on-the-difficulty-of-defining-the-succesful-relationship/

    Check it out…

  • http://www.hotalphafemale.blogspot.com Hot Alpha Female

    Lance … you know if you took that picture you can actually see your own reflection in the card.

    LMAO

    hmmmm small things amuse small minds … but ohwell

    HAF

    Hot Alpha Female’s last blog post..Why Sometimes Its Good To Be A B*TCH!

  • http://honeyandlance.com Lance

    HAF, are you flirting with me?

    Lance’s last blog post..Honey’s Take: The Key To Successful Relationships

  • http://www.hotalphafemale.blogspot.com Hot Alpha Female

    No i was just making an observation.

    Dont flatter yourself =)

    HAF

    Hot Alpha Female’s last blog post..If You Look Up To Me Then I’ll Look Down On You

  • http://honeyandlance.com/contact Lance

    You’re so adorable! You’re like my little sister. We’ll keep this just between us…

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