About the Author

Lance is an aspiring social artist based in Central Florida. His goal is to be a kickass dude, meet cool people, and generally dominate at life. He enjoys sports, surfing, socializing, reading and writing. You can contact Lance via email here or online here.

Does Race and Size Really Matter?

I had a complete blast on the IDW Radio Show last night and I want to give big ups to Eathan for having me on. Everything went swimmingly, Eathan was a great host, and the hour flowed by with no hitches. We’ll have to do it again and get Honey on there also!

Click here to listen to the podcast:

Cool Shit from the IDW Radio Show

Natural vs. Structured Game.

We talked pickup a fair bit and shot around the debate of natural versus structured game. I’m a structured game guy, that is I learned “game” by reading books and practicing lines and routines in-field. These days, my game is very natural looking simply because I’m so comfortable socially and I no longer get intimidated by big, bad hotties. Eathan, on the other hand, is a true natural, he was born with a high social intelligence and he’s realized his skill WITHOUT learning the structure from a book (I believe he’s read Mystery Method recently, though).

The interesting thing is we do nearly identical stuff, from witty one-liners, to gaming guys to get to the girls, to pre-selecting oneself, to reading BL and projecting cool. We even played the game Marry, Hookup, Kill, on the show, which is the exact routine I use almost every time I’m working a girl in the field. See this post for more details, item #8. So we arrived at the same knowledge through different pathways. Tres cool.

Overcoming racial stigma.

This was an interesting discussion. Eathan disclosed that he uses his race to his advantage when meeting white chicks, simply because of the “positive” stereotype of the black man as a sexual badass. Ya know, they have big dongs, right?

I, on the hand, used to have to overcome the stigma of the Asian man as a sexual loser (we’re talking like high school and early college here). Lame, but true. Yes, a lot of this negative perception was in my own head, and I projected that low value outwardly, but it was still there. Thanks to television and movies for that one. Anyway, these days I use my “exotic” looks to my advantage and I don’t have a problem bagging white chicks any more.

Does race matter to your relationships?

One of my favorite parts of the show was listening to Dr. Lili, Eathan’s second guest, who’s an interracial relationship counselor. She was totally hilarious and awesome!

Her take on race was that she sees beauty everywhere, with everyone, and in the end it’s the cultural differences and associated values that affect the relationship, not the race itself. I think that’s a lovely sentiment, but I tend to disagree.

Here’s my take. Please flame me if I’m being a douche. I think the physical DOES affect the attraction, that is, on a chemical/hormonal level, your body wants you to mate with a person who has a particular set of genes that would help spawn healthy children. I used my example of Asian women, that is I’m not physically attracted to Asian woman at all, even if she’s got a perfect spinner body, 10 looks, and brilliant personality. She just doesn’t make my molecules vibrate. On the other hand, when I see a hottie white chick, I get juiced and the sexual fantasies start rolling. I’m super attuned to these hormonal urges and I’ve learned that denying them is asking for trouble. Can the chemical be overcome? Absolutely…we can condition ourselves to find anything attractive (or unattractive), and we can be gamed into feeling attraction for someone our bodies might otherwise tell us is not a good match.

That’s why I don’t think Eathan dating white is a choice. His chemicals are telling him what to do.

Does size matter?

Dr. Lili emphatically pooh-poohed this notion, and again I disagreed. She said penis size doesn’t matter because it’s all about the clit and the g-spot, which are accessible by even the tiniest of man darts.

I asked her if having a big vagina made a difference in the quality of sex.

Her response: “No, that’s absolute bullshit. Next question.”

Eathan, via IM, to me, “I feel that. It’s like having a hotdog in a hallway.”

I’ve been with women with “loose” cooters and it definitely DID affect the sex…like, it was kinda lame. Hey, I’m not hating. Remember Samantha from SATC? She’s needs “a big one.” IMO size is a factor, but you can certainly make up for it with excellent bedroom game.

Moody.bitch, one of Eathan’s regular commenters, asked me flat out if the sterotype of Asian men with little dinky’s is true. I told her I’m no Ron Jeremy, but I’m not Pee Wee Herman either. To be totally honest, my junk is medium sized and fits just right.

  • http://dadshouseblog.com dadshouse

    I had an ex-girlfriend say that if you see a really big, tall guy with a tiny, petite woman, he probably has a little pecker. I crack up everytime I see combos like that.

  • http://www.idatewhite.com Eathan

    Last night was a blast! I’m glad you wrote this post. I disagreed with her on the same points. The only time size doesn’t matter to a woman is when your package is small. It matters..don’t be fooled. You many not need size to stimulate for the orgasm.. but there’s something about the feeling a woman gets when you go past the 3inch mark that makes her climb the walls. And no matter what size you are..a guy has to be able to work his ‘mojo’ to get results.

    Remember that game is game.. it’s better to learn it than to never learn it at all.

    The last point I want to say is, take a negative and turn it into a positive. I’ve always tried to take what others view as a weakness or negative and use it to your benefit. I wish you would’ve been my wing man years ago Lance. We would’ve left our mark on Austin! haha

  • http://honeyandlance.com Honey

    If you mean three inches deep, Eathan, the only “climbing the walls” I have done is to get away from the pain, the absolute EXCRUCIATION, of having my cervix bumped. On the occasions that this has happened (doggie style is usually the culprit, so one must be careful) I have curled into a ball for half an hour and just wept.

    As Miranda says on SATC, “the mark of a fine penis is width.” That is the part of sex that feels the best, and the reason that the moment of first entry is the most pleasurable–that initial stretching.

  • http://www.moodybitchseeksniceguy.com/ moody.bitch

    I’m 5’1″ and I prefer taller men (6 ft and up). Not one of them has had a small pecker – lucky me. ;-)

  • http://www.moodybitchseeksniceguy.com/ moody.bitch

    Eathan, you keep stealing lines from me (hot dog in a hallway, size only matters if it’s too small). Knock it off, I know where you live!

    However, a guy *can* be too big, which is nearly as worthless as too small – they both have to be *really* good at foreplay, just for different reasons.

    Honey, I’ve had a couple of times the guy went too deep, but for me, it seemed to have more to do with where I was in my cycle – certain times of the month, things are just too sensitive up there. Other times, it doesn’t bother me at all – I just give a good, happy grunt when it happens. :p

  • http://honeyandlance.com Honey

    moody.bitch, you’re lucky. It seems to be purely based on my own size, as I’m on monophasic birth control and have a period once a year or less!

  • http://www.moodybitchseeksniceguy.com/ moody.bitch

    Well my hoo-ha is pretty small too – I can find my cervix with my own fingers easily.

    Any idea if maybe your uterus is tilted? I think I’ve heard that can cause some discomfort during sex. My ut is on the small side, so maybe there’s more room for it to get knocked around in there, LOL.

  • http://honeyandlance.com Honey

    You know that tilted thing makes sense and I have heard of it. In any case it is not usually a problem and if the BF and I are going to do a position where I know it’s possible (like doggie style) then he is careful and also lets me do a lot of the movement so we can make sure that doesn’t happen. After the once or twice that it occurred as a learning curve, this technique worked great!

  • S

    As Miranda says on SATC, “the mark of a fine penis is width.” That is the part of sex that feels the best, and the reason that the moment of first entry is the most pleasurable–that initial stretching.

    So, so true.

  • http://www.hotalphafemale.blogspot.com Hot Alpha Female

    Ok I was just listening to this interview and it is soo freaken awesome.

    Firstly .. can i just say that i love American accents. lol

    This interview has so much value!!

    Anyways there is one good point that really struck out to me that you guys talked about.

    And that was younger women .. and them being able to have decent conversations.

    I was just watching the movie “something’s gotta give” and basically they cover a lot of age issues. ie older women dating younger men, younger women dating older men.

    Has inspired me to write a blog post about that!!

    Because its really fascinating why these women and men choose to date the age groups that they do.

    thanks lance

    HAF

    Hot Alpha Females last blog post..You Can’t Buy Love – Or Can You?

  • http://www.idatewhite.com Eathan

    Don’t tell anyone..but Something Gotta Give is one of my favorite date movies. Conversation is key. I’m sure when I’m 60 I won’t want her to say anything.. or I’ll just turn my hearing aid off..lol

    HAF with your accent, you can be on the show anytime also :)

  • http://www.idatewhite.com Eathan

    Some told me once that she liked her cervix to be bruised. She scared me.. a little..haha

  • http://www.hotalphafemale.blogspot.com Hot Alpha Female

    Sorry to say Eathan, but i think everyone knows now (somethings gotta give is ur fav movie)=)

    OK well to be honest, i didnt even know that you had this radio show, until i saw it on here!

    Now im wondering what i was missing out on this whole time.

    So im heading over to ur blog way more often =)

    HAF

  • http://www.idatewhite.com Eathan

    Cool… I guess my good/bad reputation didn’t cross the deep blue seas :)
    I look foward to hearing from you.

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