So I’ve been reading a buttload of single parent blogs lately and got inspired to ask this question: Should single parents let their kids know they have sex? If so, to what degree would you discuss your sex life with your children, and at what age is this appropriate? Obviously, since I’m not a parent, I don’t have to worry about this any time soon, but I thought it was an interesting query. The REASON I thought it was interesting was because I struggle with how much to project myself as a sexual being to friends and family. I also think parental advice on sex is generally FUCKING TERRIBLE, and this is a problem. I know my parents didn’t teach me about the birds and bees and I had to learn via trial and error.
My take is pretty simple. We’re humans, humans are sexual creatures, and it’s okay to let others know that you’re a sexual being. In fact, it’s more than okay, it’s healthy. I talk about sex all the time with my friends (shocker right?) and I project my sexuality to a lot of my co-workers. I want people to know that I’m single, straight, and looking. With work friends, I’ll keep it humorous and light. An example would be if I’m having lunch with co-workers and I see a cute girl in the restaurant. I won’t go on and on about how much I want to bonk the girl, but I’ll point out her out. Simple.
What brought me to this realization in a real life way (ie not reading books) is that I coach a women’s sport in my free time. The athletes are college age. The athletes KNOW I’m single, so I let them know via light small comments that I find OTHER women MY AGE to be attractive. What I’ll do here is tell them that I had a date or something on Friday night (skimp on details). That communicates to the athletes that I’m off limits to them, and it also communicates that I’m a regular, healthy guy and not a purveyor of kiddie porn. In other words, it establishes a common sexual ground and at the same time sets the boundaries. The result is that everyone is comfortable with each other. Further, this helps me because the athletes feel comfortable enough to talk about their personal problems, which are often boy problems. If they’re talking to me about personal problems, I can be a more effective coach.
Back to my original question about parents letting kids know that mom and dad are doing it. Parents, would you let your kids know you have sex, and if so, at what age and to what degree? If you ARE talking to them about the bird and bees, are you teaching them anything…I mean, really teaching the down and dirty stuff? If you’re not, what are your expectations for them once they start having sex?
POST EDIT: Just thought of a few more edgy questions to get you thinking. Okay, if you’re down with teaching your kids about sex, would you teach a daughter how to properly give a blowjob? Your son how to give head? Where the g-spot is and how to stimulate it? If you don’t do this, is okay for them to learn via books or the Internet. Or porn? Hey, it wouldn’t be our blog if we didn’t push limits.
This post was inspired from reading these blogs, check’em out: