Do Hot Chicks Actually Have Boyfriends?

So I have this pal, Dan the Douche, who I hang out with and watch a lot of football. We have this one cool sports bar we go to on Saturdays and Sundays and since we’ve been going to this place, Dan the Douche has been chumming it up with one of the hot female bartenders. They’re both Dallas Cowboys fans and so they’ve bonded over that. Dan has had miserable luck with women lately, mostly due to his own lack of game, and he’s slowly been building up a connection with the hot bartender. I’ve been encouraging him to push the interactions and be bold and find a way to ask her out.

So, after several weekends worth of interactions, an extraordinary thing happened. The hot bartender found Dan the Douche’s phone number and texted him that she wanted to hang out for the Cowboys game on Sunday. Dan was thrilled. They met at a different bar during her off hours and hung out and had a good time. I wasn’t present. During their time together, she casually dropped during conversation that she had a boyfriend.

I didn’t think anything of it but Dan the Douche texted me during his quasi-date and was all pissed and crestfallen. It really took the wind out of his sails. I texted back: All hot bartenders have 2-3 boyfriends, just be cool and keep working it.

When Dan the Douche got home I explained it to him that hot chicks are always banging guys and saying they have boyfriends but it certainly doesn’t mean you can’t wiggle your way in there. He didn’t really buy it. In my mind, when I hear that a hot 20-something bartender has a boyfriend, it means next to nothing. It means she’s banging 2-3 guys and she would work you into her rotation provided you have enough value. In this case, having value simply means you’re cool enough, fun enough, good looking enough, and have stable income. It’s not really asking too much.

My take is this. Hot women are never single. When I mean single, I mean single-single. Like not dating someone or sleeping with someone, absolutely unattached. And if they are, it’s for such a short period of time that the odds of you meeting her randomly in a bar are astronomical. The reality of a hot chick in her mid-20′s (who’s also a bartender) is that she has guys throwing themselves at her constantly, she’s fending them off, she has her choice of sex partners, and she’s sleeping with a couple of the higher value guys. If you want to also date the hot bartender, you’ve got to work your way in there, be the alpha dog of the group, and simply wait your turn.

In fact, I think the ONLY way to get the hot bartender is to persevere and just work it. It’s easy to get on Match.com and date the 7s. Dating the smoking hot 10s that everyone wants takes balls and a willingness to ignore the fact that she has boyfriends.

My advice to Dan the Douche: She found your number and texted you. She’s attracted and wants to hang. Stick with it and you’ll be banging her before half the NFL season is done. The fact that she said she has a BF means nothing.

What’s your take on how to date a hot bartender? Would you shy away if she said she had boyfriends?

UPDATE: Dan the Douche hung out with the hot chick again, this time mid-week. Started off as a 1-on-1 impromptu date, but then her BF and a couple of friends showed up. The BF is a douchey 36-year-old lawyer! Like I said above, hot bartender chicks get with the higher value guys. Everyone hung out for the evening and the Lawya picked up the tab, basically pwning Dan the Douche. He was completely bummed. I couldn’t understand why she asked him to hang in the first place, confusion reigns.

UPDATE II: Hot bartender txted Dan the Douche today and apologized for the douchey BF lawyer showing up. Said she wanted to hang out again 1-on-1 for realz this time. So Dan is back in play. My guess? She’s sick of her douchey older lawyer BF and wants to hang with someone young and fun. I can only imagine how painfully douchey and lame the lawyer guy is. Yuck.

If you’re into hot bartenders, try this list at holytaco.com.

  • Honey

    Ha! It was called The Pickup Artist, and yes, his name’s Mystery. He basically revolutionized “the game.”

    Bonus points for use of the word argot.

  • kingmaker

    I think terri’s question can be further distilled to: “Why do men perceive women as status symbols?”

    I think the reason is twofold. First, that an attractive woman certifies a man’s handsomeness, wealth or power (potentially also intelligence, education or ambition) — in other words, the traits of a successful man. Second, that an attractive woman, when with a man who is only average in the above three categories, acts as a testimonial to the man’s charm or “game,” which is basically skill at social manipulation.

    Is it reminiscent of a geek trying for the high score? Absolutely. Men, in case you hadn’t noticed, are competitive, always trying to one-up each other and win, even at something as intangible as life itself.

  • Honey

    kingmaker, this is interesting. Do you think that men choose their partners primarily based on the trait that they themselves possess (for example, “I’m good looking (or smart, or wealthy) so my partner must possess that quality in equal measure”)? Or do men choose their partners primarily on what they feel they are lacking?

  • kingmaker

    Honey, I would venture to say that what matters most to men is looks. After that, it’s a crapshoot — some men feel threatened by a woman who earns more than them, while others couldn’t care less. In the case of intelligent men, I would guess that the overwhelming majority shoot for partners with similar levels of intelligence.

  • Honey

    I guess that makes sense. Though, in the end, you will likely end up with someone about as smart as you and about as good-looking as you so it’s all a bit irrelevant anyway :-)

  • kingmaker

    Men are optimists though: we’ve all seen enough couples that provoke the question “How the hell did a guy like that land a girl like her?!” to hope that, one day, we will be that guy. :D

  • Honey

    @kingmaker, but if you end up with the person who’s right for you, then you end up feeling that you’re the lucky guy even if you are very close to one another on the spectrum. I know Jake has said on NUMEROUS occasions that he can’t believe that I love him and want to spend my life with him, but we’re almost exactly the same on the attractiveness and intelligence scales (we’re even the same on the financial scale when you account for the fact that although I make less money, I also have less debt).

    Or maybe it’s a matter of not knowing what you wish for until you get it? His girlfriend immediately prior to me was a dead ringer for Alicia Silverstone, but the fact that she was an overcontrolling lunatic with sexual inhibitions (when it came to regular sexual activities – oddly, she had really specific and unusual sexual fetishes that made him very uncomfortable) eventually outweighed her looks. Though, to be fair, it did take him almost four years to come to that conclusion, so maybe the real lesson to be learned is that most men have no idea what’s really good for them ;-)

  • Bondo

    Hugh Hefner must be the biggest douche, heck he’s dating hot women 60 years younger then him. What a douche. 10 years my ass, Honey, you’re losing major credibility.

  • Honey

    This doesn’t make sense.

  • http://www.facebook.com/keithmhunter kbud

    SO- first time at this site. It’s great. But what’s the update on this story? The article and comments were enthralling..

  • Jax

    Can the girl in the left of this photo actually Make drinks? Can she reach around her breasts and get to the bar equipment?

  • Heather

    No, we don’t, and John Gray nailed why in one of his books.

    a) Good men hang back from approaching us and stare at us scared like we’re going to kill them psychically on contact,

    and

    b) Douchebag guys hit on us all the time, making us very resistant to any male approach at all, because REALLY: after the 1001th guy who looks like the 1000 before him ogles you, walks up shaking, and says “I-I just wanted to tell you, baby… you are so f—-g hot and I want to get with you”, or offers you coffee or a drink you didn’t ask for, gets in your way while you’re trying to walk somewhere, crashes into something because he was looking at you while driving (this has happened and no, I was not impressed – who would want to date and ride with this person at the wheel?), does obvious double-takes at you and goes, loudly, “Gawd DEEYum! Baby!!!”, who has the time for that stuff?

    No, we don’t actually have boyfriends. What we get are hordes of anonymous dingbats with penises staring at us, getting hard while looking at us, and bugging the s–t out of us 24 hours a day.

    You asked.

    Putting her annoying, heavy, oversized breasts away now,
    Heather

    (PS: yes, even my name is hot. And now, sadly downstairs to somehow get past the two security guards who stare at me, give me dumb lines, follow me around and make the LAMEST small talk with me every day when I come to work, and try to go about my day. Somehow.)

  • jimbow08

    blonde is photo shopped but still awesome

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