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About the Author

Honey is an expert on online dating and long term relationships. She's based in Flagstaff, Arizona and has happily been in a relationship for two years running. Honey graduates with her PhD in Composition and Rhetoric in December of 2008. You can contact Honey via email here or online here.

Dating Beautiful

So in this article on Dating Ugly, I try to unravel the mysteries behind why gorgeous women would date guys who are significantly less good-looking than they are.  While I came down on the side of insecurity as the driving force behind such pairings, what if you’re totally, utterly secure in your fabulous good looks?  Previously there was only HotOrNot.com, a free way to not only judge your little heart out, but get judged and maybe find love.  The BF met his ex on that site, actually. However, such undergrad (and free) pursuits are now behind us, because we now have BeautifulPeople.net (only supported by IE, annoyingly enough for Firefox devotees like me).

This article on NationalPost.com explains that with a 1-in-10 acceptance rate, this site has stirred up controversy wherever it goes.  The pragmatist in me has to point out that, according to conventional wisdom at least, everyone ends up with someone within 2 points of themselves on a 1-10 scale anyway (unless you have some mad social proof or monster insecurity pushing the scales unduly in one direction or the other).  So a site like this doesn’t change how attractive you are (or aren’t), it merely cuts out the riffraff for the already attractive and lets them find that special someone without weeding through all the normal people (or the ugly ones).

(Greg Plitt from Season 3 of Work Out on Bravo, and the guy I thought of in my Dating Ugly post when I said I’d blow out someone too good-looking for me)

The bitter ravings of those who have been turned down for the site remind me a little bit of the people who try out for American Idol and So You Think You Can Dance? when they know for a fact that they are completely talent-less and would never qualify.  I mean, who wants to use sites like Ugly People Dating or Marry An Ugly Millionaire?  (Although I have to say that I think both of those sites are cruel jokes.) I always wondered why anyone would want to be formally judged by their “peers” when we are so obviously judged by our peers every day.  What do you guys think?

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4 Comments »

Comment by Cathouse TeriNo Gravatar
2008-06-25 11:30:12

We are of a society that is utterly peer dependent. This, in my mind, not being a very good thing.

I have no preference as to the physical attraction of the person I date. Although, on the first date with my current boyfriend, I said to him, “I don’t usually date men who are prettier than I am.” (And he is.)

Here’s my favorite quote of the day:
You have to know how to accept rejection and reject acceptance.
- Ray Bradbury

Cathouse Teris last blog post..See Then That You Walk Circumspectly

 
Comment by marcNo Gravatar
2008-06-25 12:07:44

My theory is that people prefer to be judged by others so that they have someone to blame when the truth about themselves is revealed. It’s easier than looking yourself in the mirror, and saying, “Maybe I can’t sing, or maybe I need a makeover, or need to hit the gym, etc.”

marcs last blog post..My Best Date All Year

 
Comment by LanceNo Gravatar
2008-06-25 13:33:04

That’s ingenius marketing right there. People are going to apply just to see if they make the cut.

I’ll bet you can use standard online profile game to increase your chances of getting in:
1. Take excellent, professional looking pictures.
2. Wear killer threads.
3. Show yourself in a cool house and driving a cool car.
4. Increasing social value by appearing in social settings.
5. Displaying yourself as pre-selected by hot women and cool dudes.

My theory is that you can actually have average looks but HIGH perceived value and get in.

I’m going to make this my little project. I’ll spend a couple of weeks getting the right photos together, apply, and report back. Thanks for turning me on to this!

Lances last blog post..Dating Beautiful

 
Comment by dadshouseNo Gravatar
2008-06-25 16:44:42

I don’t know if it’s wanting to be judged, or simply the status of being a member of an elite group.

Lance, you may be onto something. I bet you can make it work. Hope to hear about it with a pointed to your smiling mug inside their site.

dadshouses last blog post..Calling All Matchmakers

 
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