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Lance is an aspiring social artist based in Central Florida. His goal is to be a kickass dude, meet cool people, and generally dominate at life. He enjoys sports, surfing, socializing, reading and writing. You can contact Lance via email here or online here.

Could You Date Sasha Grey?

By on Aug 30, 2010 in Featured, Relationships

So one of my favorite shows is the HBO series Entourage. I’m pretty much enamored of the ridiculous LA lifestyle that Vincent Chase and Co. lead: partying, driving sweetass cars, dating super beautiful women, making tons of money, chilling with other celebs. It’s a total fantasy (unless you’re actually a celebrity) but it’s good escapism.

One of their current plotlines is the relationship of the main character, Vince Chase, with his new girlfriend Sasha Grey. Sasha Grey is a super popular porn star, the 2008 AVN female performer of the year among other awards, and she plays herself on the show. Vince and Sasha meet at a club, start talking, one thing leads to another and boom they’re dating. Their relationship is actually kind of sweet but also has a dark side.

One of the questions the writers pose is, assuming you had the wherewithal to date Sasha Grey, could you handle the implications of dating a porn star? On the show, Grey is offered a part in an adult film and Vince reacts negatively. He has a minor freak out, eventually apologizes and offers to support her decision, and when pressed by her insistence to do the film, he gets frustrated and tries to manipulate her into not doing it. He even goes so far as to secure her a part in his next film, a mainstream blockbuster type flick. Sasha stands her ground says she is going to do the porn. This is further complicated when Sasha admits that her ex-fiance is one of the co-stars in her film.

So I think there’s a great thought experiment in here. If you had the ability to date a popular and attractive pornstar, could you do it, and would you be okay with her fucking other dudes on camera? Could you be “in a relationship” if you had the knowledge that your chick was having sex with 10 other guys every time she made a movie?

Vince has a pretty uncool reaction and he’s accused by Sasha of trying to control her. Vince plays the love card and insists that he doesn’t want to share her with other guys.

I’ve had a pretty strong reaction to the plotline so far. Sasha Grey is a porn star and that’s part of her identity, sexual and otherwise. She’s perfectly okay with having sex on camera as her livelihood and also having a regular relationship outside of work. She can make that differentiation. On paper, I would like to think I would support that and be totally cool with it. Of course I’ve never been in a relationship with a pornstar, so I don’t know how I would really react. But, I want to say it would be liberating. I would love to date a woman who was that open with her sexuality. I will admit this now, but it’s actually one of my fantasies to watch my girlfriends have sex with other dudes.

But I just don’t know, because I’ve never met someone that far-out and I suspect I might feel intimidated. Women who are more experienced than me make me a little nervous. I also find it exciting/enthralling. I like that edginess in a relationship because it’s a fantastic opportunity to hold my ground as a man and maintain my masculine identity. It’s a daily test to date sexually open and experienced women. Basically, the test is, can you hang? Can you still be the man when you know she’s had many many other men? Someone on the level of a Sasha Grey would be overwhelming.

But holy cow, the sex would be amazing!! I would have to take a shot at it.

Could you date a pornstar? Who’s right and who’s wrong in this situation?

Check out Sasha’s Twitter page, which she updates regularly.

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  • http://hammer86blog.com Hammer

    This is a question I’ve been thinking about a lot lately. It’s kind of come up in my personal life with a couple of open relationships I’ve been involved in, and it’s also come up in a number of posts on Roissy’s blog. At the end of the day though, I think that yes, I could date Sasha Grey. A year ago I probably wouldn’t have been able to handle it, my girl kcufing other dudes, but now it’s just not a big deal to me. I don’t find it a turn on, but as long as I still have her mind, I have what’s important.
    .-= Hammer´s last blog …Off to the 21 Convention =-.

  • http://www.mysecrethobby.blogspot.com kiera

    I think I could date a male porn star as long as he isn’t completely self-absorbed and thinks he’s a sex god…. or has long greasy hair and frequently oils himself.

    Mmmm… Scott Nails and that Rough Bald British Guy! :)
    .-= kiera´s last blog …Sucker =-.

  • http://honeyandlance.com Lance

    Cock hammer of Thor?

  • Honey

    It is interesting…I have never dated someone with significantly more sexual experience than me (at least at the time I was dating them…I am sure many of my ex partners have gone on to surpass me in terms of either variety of experience or number of partners). I have much more often been in the situation where I had to downplay my experience in order to make the other person comfortable – which is obviously not possible for someone like Sasha Grey.

  • http://www.mysecrethobby.blogspot.com kiera

    Hahah! Yes, sir!
    .-= kiera´s last blog …Sucker =-.

  • http://www.pickuptipsformen.com DIO

    I’ve dated women who’ve had a significant sexual history, and it those situations, you either accept the person and their past, or you cant get over it and there’s no relationship.

    But to date a girl who’s actively in the porn biz… I don’t think so.

    And Sasha Grey? She’s one of the dirtiest girls in the business – she know no limits. So it would be somewhat prestigious to be seen with her, anything more would be kinda dicey.
    .-= DIO´s last blog …Separating MEN From Boys- Who Has the Advantage in Attracting Women =-.

  • http://honeyandlance.com Lance

    DIO, I tend to agree. I looked up a bunch of Sasha Grey porn and it’s a few degree too dirty, even for me. On paper, I don’t think I could go there, but who knows if I was in situ. I like the character she plays on Entourage, though, and that character I could do.

  • http://dadshouseblog.com dadshouse

    I could not date a pornstar. I like the intimacy of knowing a woman wants to be with me alone. I’ve been with plenty of women, but I prefer monogomy. Sex is best when there’s a deeper connection.

    As for Sasha Gray – a girl friend of mine who likes porn said that Sasha Gray bugs her because Sasha is ALWAYS in control. She never shows a vulnerable side.

    Now then, if Sasha spilled crumbs in my bed, would I kick her out? Hells no!!!
    .-= dadshouse´s last blog …Blind Date from Hell – When the Cops Arrived- I Bailed =-.

  • http://www.howtostartaconversationwithagirl.com Bobby Rio

    Hell yea I could…

    Without a doubt.
    .-= Bobby Rio´s last blog …Three Tips to Start a Conversation with a Girl =-.

  • Mike

    I definitely could. I voted A: Yes. Dating an adult star is like dating anyone else on a poll asking Could you date Sasha Grey?

    I don’t think it would bother me at all…she’s smoking hot!!!

  • http://www.coupleoncouples.com Graeme – Relationship Blogger

    Wow I was just thinking about this exact thing the other day, when I saw Sasha Grey in a video of the Tyra Banks show.

    Noooo. Would definitely NOT date a pornstar seriously. She could be interesting to hang out with, but I think that the sex itself would feel dirty as hell and it would feel hella lame to be investing myself emotionally in someone in an industry that I don’t respect at all (ie she’s getting pounded by three dudes at the same time and completely disrespected, and yeah lame for your girlfriend).
    .-= Graeme – Relationship Blogger´s last blog …Long-Distance Relationship Update 2- Worlds Apart =-.

  • http://www.marriedandfree.com Sarah

    A porn star is first of all a person. No reason not to date her because of that. And what? Those claiming they would feel “dirty” having sex with her only had sex with 1 person? Really?

  • terri

    “A porn star is first of all a person.”

    Yeah, ok, we all are “people” first. Even a porn star has feelings. Play the world’s smallest violin, will ya?

    Let’s deconstruct the original question. “Could you date [someone who fucks for a living]?”

    The notion, here, is that sex is valuable and “should” be reserved for a “special” person. (And those quotes are deferential–I’ll get back to it.) So: When the partner you’re with _must_ have sex with someone else to make a living…does that degrade your “specialness”?

    Yes, it does. (And let’s ignore the “oh, hella yes I’d do her!” comments. Bozos.)

    For once, Lance has raised a semi-interesting question. Is it possible to separate sexual congress from “specialness” to the extent that the mechanics of fucking–daily, hourly fucking–are swept away in the presence of that “special” person?

    Abstractly, possibly. But in reality…come on. Let’s look at it from Ms. Gray’s position. You’ve been fucking all day. You’ve gotten it in the ass, you’ve done three guys at the same time, you’ve had assistant directors stopping the shot so the big-dick star could be fluffed up, you’ve had cum dripping down your face, you’re sore and raw…and you can forget all that and not just want a soft pillow and a book and just to be untouched for awhile? After all of that, you could think that sex is magical and transcendent?

    Now let’s look at it from someone who might actually develop an affection for our little slut. What’s important to you? A “hot bod” or a mind? Let’s assume that Ms. Gray has entered into the porn industry of her own volition. She’s not just a whore, she’s a _smart_ whore. Cagey as a fox. She’s smart…but this is all she can do? Yup. Mighty damn smart and interesting. She’s got a lot to say. “Oh, man, I curled my tongue around the tip of his cock, but it was…Ironic! They PAY me for this?? Ha ha ha!!”

    Yeah, right.

    Lance’s unspoken contention is that sex “should” (told you I’d get back there) be reserved for someone “special” (ditto, but I already covered that). If “should” wasn’t an issue, then there’d be no reason for the post.

    So: Should sex be special? And does “special” mean personal and concentrated? How much of a “dating” relationship involves the emotional comfort that the person that you’re with isn’t “sharing” with someone else? And how much of that is purely, abstractly emotional (such that you could “date” a porn star without jealousy), and how much of it is a _literal_ signifier of specialness?

    I like things to be uncomplicated. Dating a porn star…That’s not a test or a measure of advanced maturity and sexual openness. Well, it is a test. If you have to explain that “it’s ok, she fucks other guys/girls, but I’m cool with it”…Sounds sick to me.

  • http://honeyandlance.com Lance

    This is almost a lucid, focused comment, almost. But again, you missed the point. My point was, could you date a woman who was vastly more sexually experienced than you, would you be intimidated as a man, and how would it affect your masculinity? Terri, I don’t think you get it. Also, I don’t think sex is particularly special. Everyone does it, like eating and breathing.

    Your line “for once, Lance has raised a semi-interesting question” is pretty funny though. I lol’ed.

  • terri

    Lance: “I don’t think sex is particularly special.”

    Nor do your partners.

  • http://www.nudepetgirls.com/blog/ NPG

    I don’t think there is a right and wrong in this situation. Sasha Grey has the right to a real boyfriend, and Vince has the right to “buy a cow” that everyone else isn’t milking for free. :)
    .-= NPG´s last blog …Sasha Grey- “Too Much Sex is Bad” =-.

  • bob

    Sometimes, dating a girl who has more sexual experience than you is intimidating. It fucking sucks and it’s hard to get over. It comes back from time to time. No matter how hard you try to get over it. I hate the feeling. It’s hard now a days to find a girl that hasn’t though. I don’t feel the need to be a man whore and am pretty selective about my sexual partners, because of that I always end up dating girls that seem to have fucked everyone and their mother. I hate it.

  • http://simplyindonesia.blogspot.com/ td

    Too hot to handle – at least for most guys!

  • John

    You have no idea what Terri just said did you Lance?

  • http://asd syed

    like

  • motumbo

    dude you are willing to date a pornstar then you are a LOSER cause that means you are willing to get stomped over and over again and then have sex with a girl who has been penetrated over 100 times which makes her worst than a real cum dump.