style

So last night the BF and I were watching this crazy tv show called Manswers (that’s how bad the summer tv drought is hitting our TiVo), and one of the segments was on what type of women are best in bed.  First they polled a bunch of dudes and asked them whether they thought party girls, gymnasts, or smart girls would be best in bed.  I was taken aback by the fact that there are, apparently, only 3 types of women (and one of those types is gymnast?!) but surprised and pleased that they at least edited the footage to suggest that there was a three day tie.

The expert sexologist stated that party girls and gymnasts aren’t nearly as good in bed as smart girls (though “college-educated” was their definition of smart and I’ve taught too many courses at the university level to buy that).  Woo-hoo, Dateable Dork, Vix, and me are all phenomenal in bed!  As if you all didn’t know that.  I did think it was funny that the show didn’t mention whether the same was true for fellas (though the BF pointed out that such claims might alienate the majority of the Manswers demographic). Continued

Lance shot me this link from The Huffington Post, which attempts to explain why women are so much more likely than men to date people who are significantly less good-looking than they are (and sometimes, apparently, not good looking by any standard):

(I think he’s got a little stiffy, and why not?) Continued

A friend of mine graduated last week, so one week after packing up and leaving Flagstaff “for good,” I drove back to attend a department picnic and to attend her graduation party.  Although she’d been planning this party for some time, attendance wasn’t what she was expecting, largely because so many other people were graduating that weekend everyone was committed to something-or-other.  As a result, while a few of my friends were there, her party mostly consisted of herself, her husband, her parents, and her in-laws.  This was fine with me because I get along great with people who are older than me–in fact, I generally prefer them to people my own age.

However, it got me to remembering when I met the BF’s parents, and when he met my dad (my mom passed away when I was 18).  In fact, it struck me that meeting the parents isn’t really any different (aside from the age difference) from meeting the other person’s friends.  The question becomes, how do I impress someone who has a vested interest in, and therefore a desire to protect, the other person–and who is more than willing to do that at my expense?

Continued

First of all, hi everybody! I moved in with the BF this past weekend and it’s been a flurry of activity, as I’m sure you can all imagine. Fortunately I hired movers to load and unload, and the BF drove the truck (I followed behind in the car so we wouldn’t have to tow anything), but there was more than enough packing, unpacking, and moving of furniture to keep me busy since Friday night. I almost have everything under control here, so I should be able to focus a little more on the site from now on (especially since I am procrastinating my search for a day job)!

When Lance said that we should write this week’s double take on getting phone numbers (or e-mail addresses, myspace pages, whatever) I thought it was a great subject. He believes that it’s easy to get a girl’s number, and not so easy to ensure that she picks up the phone when you call (or that she doesn’t flake before your date). I think that his point that you have to really wow her so that you stick in her memory is well taken. However, in my own experience dating the reason that you have to be really sure that you’re coming across as exceptional and not creepy is that many, many times the number that you are given isn’t even the girl’s real number.

When I was doing the club thing, if I wanted a guy to go away I would give him my phone number with the last two digits reversed (sorry, whoever’s phone that was!) or give out the Rejection Line (the local radio station had a fake phone number for people to give out with a mean message about how they’d been rejected and they would play subsequent messages on the morning show). I can only think of one time that I gave a guy my actual number, and the subsequent date was so horrible that I never did it again. So how can you make a good impression, ensure that the information is correct, and arrange that all-important second meetup? Continued

When I was still taking coursework, one of the requirements was a linguistics class. We read an article about a researcher who studied the language people use when speaking to close friends, relatives, or significant others versus the language that people use when speaking to strangers or people they don’t know as well. The study found that when speaking to people we know well, we have a tendency to use far more pronouns (as opposed to nouns) and other vague referents (for example, using a “code word” that refers to a mutually experienced event or story that both people know). On the other hand, when speaking to people we don’t know well, we have a tendency to use far more nouns (which are more specific) and to tell stories in their entirety.

This plays out in interesting ways when you start dating someone, because once you get past the very initial stages (let’s say about three months, which is my “shit or get off the pot” moment in dating) you have a tendency to start thinking that the other person knows you better than they do…and then you start getting vaguer and vaguer without realizing it. This can lead to misunderstandings if you’re not careful. Continued

I was having lunch near campus the other day, and because I happened to be by myself I had the dubious privilege of overhearing three undergraduate girls’ conversation. While they were pretty enough, they were living proof of why youth is boring. And yet, I see girls in their late 20s and early 30s trying like hell to cling to something that was never attractive in the first place! Here are the top 10 reasons why undergrad girls are lame. If you are 18-22, you will really stand out from the crowd if you avoid these behaviors. And, unfortunately, if you are older than 22 you will probably also really stand out from the crowd if you avoid these behaviors.

1. Talk about how icky hard liquor is unless you mix it with something. The undergrads I overheard suggested vanilla vodka with “lots of coke.” I suggest growing the fuck up and ordering, oh, I don’t know, a martini? My personal favorite is a G&T. I also appreciate a solid microbrew or imported beer (not Heineken). Whatever you do, and this goes for guys and girls, if you ever go to a fucking brewery and order a Bud Light you deserve to be shot on sight.

Continued

I go out a lot and I see a lot of guys I would term douchebags. What is a douchebag? A douchebag is sort of like a wannabe pimp, but with no game, a lousy personality, and a scuzzy/skeezy vibe. A poser, if you will, but a highly evolved version. I’ve put together this little list of fun-ness that will help you a) avoid douchebags if you’re out and about, and b) avoid becoming a douchebag if that’s the path you’re on. Douchebags. Avoid like the superflu.

1. Treating your girlfriend like shit and blaming it on her. True sign of an uber-douche. Dude, if you don’t like your girlfriend, or you’re not attracted to her, ditch her and spare her the grief of your doucheness. And then go read some personal development books and stop being a douche.

2. Bragging about the crazy poonani you’re getting in order to impress friends when in actuality you’ve haven’t gotten laid in a year. Obvious. If you’re a pimp, more power to you, but don’t brag, and if you’re not a pimp but you pretend to be one, go behind the shed and flagellate yourself with a wet Affliction t-shirt.

Continued

As my partner Lance (no, not my romantic partner, though you know I love ya, Lance!) points out, there are a great many people out there who think that the traditional Valentine’s Day activities are totally lame. Inexplicably, however, there are a great many people out there who set a huge stock in whether or not these things occur on this particular day. Why is that, and how can you figure out what to do?

For me, it all comes down to the definition of romance. According to the dictionary, romance has its beginnings in the romantic genre of literature, which started in the Middle Ages and was characterized by pageantry (i.e., silly, over the top crap) and heroic deeds. Similarly, while one definition of romantic is “displaying or expressing love or strong affection,” another definition is “fanciful; impractical; unrealistic,” and that’s where I think we get into problems in our relationships (or beginnings of relationships, as the case may be). If one or both people have an impractical or unrealistic idea of what Valentine’s Day represents or what’s genuinely important (or not) to the other person, then everyone’s going to be disappointed, and we all know what that means:

No one gets laid.

Continued