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3.5 Years and Counting…

Today is three and a half years since Jake and I met.  Things are going great!  I don’t have much to add, so I am throwing in a recent e-mail exchange.  Enjoy!

A Game

Jake,

You made me so happy this morning when you said that I was the best thing in your life.  I try really hard for that to be the case (even though like I said in my card earlier this week I feel like I fail a lot).  [Note: I'd gotten him a card and a bottle of wine for being patient and covering some expenses for me until my freelance check came in.] I think you deserve good things and I think that relationships don’t just stay great – you have to try, even if you’ve been together for years. Continued

Negotiation: Get What You Want By Giving

The second of the two presentations at the professional development conference I attended last week (you can read about the first one, “recession-proofing your personal relationships,” here) was on negotiating. Now, the conference was sponsored by a woman’s professional organization, so that’s what the focus (and most of the supporting anecdotes) was on, but I think there’s value in it regardless of your gender.

“Hard” versus “Soft” Negotiating

This is one of the core principles of the well-known book Getting to Yes by Roger Fisher and William Ury. Essentially, hard negotiation (often called competitive negotiation) is about using whatever means necessary to get whatever it is that you want. Soft negotiation (often called integrative or cooperative negotiation) is about maximizing both parties’ returns – even if it means giving up something that you really want. Continued

The Hottest Kiss Of My Life

So I’ve been kind of bummed lately for love-related reasons. Yes, Lance-daddy gets in a rut too for this stuff, sue me. It’s totally screwed up my creativity, which is precisely the reason why I haven’t blogged much lately. Continued

The Great Recession and Your Romantic Relationship

On Wednesday I got to go to yet another training…this one was actually an all-day professional development conference for staff at our institution.  Two of the presentations (e-mail in the workplace and locavore/plant-based eating) were disappointing, not because I’m not interested in the topics but because the speakers were terrible.

However, the “Recession-Proofing Your Personal Relationships” and the “Women Don’t Negotiate, But They Should” presentations were pretty rockin’.  So, here I am, passing all my rockin’ new knowledge on to you!  This entry is inspired by the value I got out of the “Recession-Proofing” presentation, and I’ll do one on negotiations next week. Continued

Emotional Intelligence and Promises to Myself

On Friday, I went to a training on emotional intelligence, and I have to say that it was really interesting.  I’d taken a quiz on emotional intelligence prior to this (check out http://www.queendom.com/) and scored not nearly as well as I would have thought, although firmly within the bell curve. One of the results of the training was to make a contract with ourselves (we were given contracts and the trainer is going to follow up with us to hear about the results) and try to do one thing differently for a month to improve our emotional intelligence.  I got a lot of value out of the session, so I thought I’d try and pass some of it on.

Regarding the monthly contract, I chose to allow my emotions to influence my decisions, which I anticipate will be pretty interesting.  Sometimes I get really frustrated or angry and then my emotions make my decisions for me (which is different, I think, from letting your emotions influence your decisions), and the rest of the time I pretty much disregard my emotions completely.  I’m looking forward to the idea of taking a balanced approach. Continued

Finished Eat, Pray, Love–I Friggin Loved It

I finished Eat, Pray, Love and it resonated for me. I loved it. One of the best reading experiences I’ve had this year. In my earlier post about the book, I noted a couple of issues I was having:

Continued