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How Far Do We Go To Change Our Partners?

So from writing my last post about banging a chick other than my girlfriend, and the subsequent comments, a question has popped into my head that I thought was worth giving it’s own blog post.

It goes like this. I’m in this relationship for half a year and everything is great EXCEPT the sex is lousy. Every commenter suggested the first step towards dealing with this dilemma is to talk with her and communicate what I’m feeling and thinking. Great. In my mind, what exactly does that talk accomplish? I see three scenarios: A) The talk is going to accomplish nothing and possibly lead to breakup (possible), b) She acquiesces 100% and somehow lets me do whatever I want sexually (highly unlikely), or c) we compromise and meet somewhere in the middle (likely).

Continued

Honey and Lance – The Breakup

No, not me leaving the blog – the breakup when we were dating! :-)  Since I soon won’t be posting anymore, I thought that I’d tell you all the story from my perspective (I’d be pretty interested to hear Lance’s as well).

Lance told the story of the original pickup here, and for the most part it’s pretty accurate.  The only mitigating factors worth mentioning:

  • I was bored stiff on the date I was on.  He was a guy in my yoga class that I’d been friendly with for over a year, and I always thought he was pretty boring.  Turns out I was right.
  • I don’t remember what Lance said when he walked up either, but I do remember that both my date and I were low on drinks and Lance bought me another beer and, like he said, didn’t say anything to my date at all.  I thought it was pretty studly ;-)
  • When he contacted me in the next day or so, he said that he thought my date was totally lame and that I could do better.  I agreed, and he asked me out.  Nice! Continued

Mind-Blowing Article from the Atlantic

Here’s the article:

The End of Men

The gist – women are now earning more degrees than men, participating in the workforce in equal (soon to be greater) amounts, and 75% of layoffs in the recent recession were layoffs of men.  Where are we headed as a society?

The article is long, but worth reading.

What did you think?

Love After Four Years

So, tomorrow is four years to the day that Jake and I met and started a whirlwind and largely long-distance romance.  It’s also two years since we moved in together (more or less).  I feel so, so lucky to have met such a fantastic partner.  Here are some of the things I appreciate most about him:

Continued

Getting Better

Well, things are looking up since my last post

Jobs Update

Jake has decided he has too much on his plate to do a real job search at the moment, so he’s calling that off.  However, given what went down with his supervisor recently, he has decided to go balls-to-the-wall in terms of his working conditions at his current place.  He thinks that there is a good chance that his strategy will pay off, in which case he’d be perfectly happy continuing to be there (it is not the amount of work he does that he objects to, it is a variety of aspects of the environment).  If it doesn’t work out and they fire him, then obviously he will have plenty of time to do a big search.  Either outcome would be better than the status quo. Continued

Mentoring Will Change Your Life. Also, Don’t Be Selfish

There are a few stretches in my life where I wish I had the influence of a strong and positive mentoring figure. I hate playing the what-if game–what-if I had done this instead of that, would I have a better job/relationship/life now?–but I do think that having good mentors can make a difference. I’ll share a couple of those examples and then share my own experiences as a mentor.

Continued

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