Honey

So last night the BF and I were watching this crazy tv show called Manswers (that’s how bad the summer tv drought is hitting our TiVo), and one of the segments was on what type of women are best in bed.  First they polled a bunch of dudes and asked them whether they thought party girls, gymnasts, or smart girls would be best in bed.  I was taken aback by the fact that there are, apparently, only 3 types of women (and one of those types is gymnast?!) but surprised and pleased that they at least edited the footage to suggest that there was a three day tie.

The expert sexologist stated that party girls and gymnasts aren’t nearly as good in bed as smart girls (though “college-educated” was their definition of smart and I’ve taught too many courses at the university level to buy that).  Woo-hoo, Dateable Dork, Vix, and me are all phenomenal in bed!  As if you all didn’t know that.  I did think it was funny that the show didn’t mention whether the same was true for fellas (though the BF pointed out that such claims might alienate the majority of the Manswers demographic). Continued

I try to live my life by the idea that happiness is a decision you make, not something you wait to happen to you.  With that in mind, I’ve made all sorts of decisions that, apparently, are difficult for many people.  Moving across the country to get a PhD in something I’d basically never heard of.  Starting a relationship/sex blog.  Most recently, quitting my job as a teaching assistant at the U and moving to another city to live with my boyfriend–without even having a job.

My best friend often says that my ability to pursue the path I think is right for me regardless of whether it’s easy or not is one of the qualities she admires the most about me.  However, I have to admit that this move has been fucking tough. I could really relate when I read Holly Hoffman’s post on Introducing a New Person Into Your Life, but I couldn’t help but think–what about when you’re the new person?  Because although we’ve been together over two years, I haven’t been trying to incorporate my man into an existing routine.  I’ve completely changed everything about my life and have been trying to build a new routine–in some ways an easier thing, but in other ways much harder. Continued

To add to the discussion about what’s great about monogamy versus some of the other systems out there, my interest was peaked when I came across this article called “Let’s Chat About Cheating.” Author Steve Penner not only references the Sex and the City movie and TV series (one of the most accurate commentaries on relationships EVER), he gives his perspective on AshleyMadison.com, a “dating” site for people who are…um, married, and interested in having an affair(s).  In fact, one of their slogans is, “Life is short.  Have an affair.”

(His life’ll be short all right, when his wife sees that collar…) Continued

So, with all the talk going around about open relationships and “growing with your partner,” I feel like I have to come to the defense of good old monogamous sex.  I do admit that there’s something to the anticipation and sexual tension of a first time, and there’s obviously something to be said for variety.  However, aside from the obvious benefits of not having to use a condom, I think that monogamous sex has the potential to be far more exciting and fulfilling than sex with a bunch of different partners.  Here, Honey’s Top Five Benefits of Monogamous Sex. Continued

Lance shot me this link from The Huffington Post, which attempts to explain why women are so much more likely than men to date people who are significantly less good-looking than they are (and sometimes, apparently, not good looking by any standard):

(I think he’s got a little stiffy, and why not?) Continued

So, in case you didn’t know, I won the First Date contest over on Dad’s House! Check out DM’s original post with the contest parameters (plus all the awesome comments left by his readers) as well as his follow-up post with an analysis of all the fabulous entries (plus links, of course).

I enjoy the writing, the sarcasm, and the brutal honesty of DM’s blog, and I’m totally stoked to win a $25 Amazon eCard (which I will probably spend on the next books in George R.R. Martin’s Song of Ice and Fire series, as I just read the first two of the series as part of my vow to the BF to Make The Most Of My Unemployment). Yes, you heard right, I read fantasy novels. What of it?

Even if you’re not unemployed with scads of free time like me (that is, when I’m not driving my boyfriend to the Emergency Room because he has kidney stones), check out all of the entries, linked in his follow-up post. They range from the practical to the laugh-out-loud hilarious, especially my fine entry, here. Okay, okay, check out Lance’s entry while you’re at it. Any post that contains the phrase “fuck like wildebeasts” is worth the read, even if he did spell wildebeest wrong.

Is 5:30 in the afternoon too early for a beer? Not if it’s a self-congratulatory beer!!! Peace out, peeps.

The BF has been overworked lately–lots of projects due, it’s his first year at the company so he’s everyone’s bitch, etc. He had recently apologized for this and vowed to spend the weekend relaxing with me, especially after he came home at 8:30 p.m. on Thursday and fell straight asleep (I had been walking the dog, usually his job, for several days). Unfortunately, it was not to be.

Friday he came home, again after 8 p.m., and fell asleep. He woke up much later and we walked the dog together, but by then it was after midnight and I was ready for bed (he’s an insomniac normally so with his nap he was wide awake). I was getting irritated because this was the second night in a row I’d been watching tv by myself downstairs (thanks to no friends in New City) while he slept, and then going to bed alone (no sex!) while he watched tv till the early hours.

Then he woke me up at 5:30 a.m. Saturday morning and asked me to take him to the Emergency Room. Continued

As Lance says here, the perfect date is indeed a blog-worthy subject. I’ve been on many first dates myself (in fact, that was practically all I used to go on) and while I have to agree with Dadshouse that most online daters aren’t terribly original when it comes to first dates, I thought I’d put in my two cents as part of my entry for his First-Date Contest.

I have to agree with Lance that what makes a first date stand out isn’t typically the venue, it’s something electrifying about the company that you’re with. However, it’s hard to be electrified if you don’t craft the scenario at least a little bit to your liking. The anticipation begins before the date. Obviously my best first date in theory was with the BF, since it led to our fantastic relationship. And there were good things and bad things about it–so here I’ll list the good things and the bad, thereby serving as an object lesson in what to do and what not to do, simultaneously. Continued

Fact: you have friends–which means that the person you’re dating needs to see you interact with those friends. Fact: you also have to charm the friends of the person you’re dating. PLUS, you’ve gotta be able to interact with colleagues, bosses, underlings, clients, because sometimes you have to bring your date along to work events (or you’re invited to be a date to someone else’s work event). Conclusion: if you can’t talk to a wide variety of people about a wide variety of subjects, you are going to look like a total douchebag.

Whoa! I know what you’re thinking–a lot of pressure! But it doesn’t have to be. With a little legwork, you can be prepared for almost any conversational circumstance. Lance gives some suggestions on being a conversational whiz here. He’s mostly talking about how to be witty on a date. My post focuses on topics you can use when conversing with people you don’t know well–whether that’s a date you met online, someone you’re picking up at a club, or a horrible work cocktail party or company picnic.

Here are some subjects near and dear to my own heart that almost anyone can learn about with a minimum of effort: Continued

Setup: The City

First of all, warning! I decided to throw an explicit account of my weekend out there because, hey, single people aren’t the only ones who have sex Here goes…on a non-sex related note, Seattle’s beautiful, though I have to say as a city it’s not my style (I prefer San Francisco and Boston…different as they are from each other). I was there for a conference and the BF came along for the ride. We stayed at the Westin with a friend of mine, Diane. We were supposed to have one other roomie, Rita, but she had some family stuff come up and cancelled at the last minute.

Diane was kind of concerned that she’d be a third wheel (fifth wheel?) and repeatedly told us that if we wanted “coupletime,” to just let her know and she’d clear out. The BF and I thought this was pretty funny and would shout “couple time!” whenever she looked like she was about to fall asleep, when she was working on her conference presentation, whatever. Continued