health

I try to live my life by the idea that happiness is a decision you make, not something you wait to happen to you.  With that in mind, I’ve made all sorts of decisions that, apparently, are difficult for many people.  Moving across the country to get a PhD in something I’d basically never heard of.  Starting a relationship/sex blog.  Most recently, quitting my job as a teaching assistant at the U and moving to another city to live with my boyfriend–without even having a job.

My best friend often says that my ability to pursue the path I think is right for me regardless of whether it’s easy or not is one of the qualities she admires the most about me.  However, I have to admit that this move has been fucking tough. I could really relate when I read Holly Hoffman’s post on Introducing a New Person Into Your Life, but I couldn’t help but think–what about when you’re the new person?  Because although we’ve been together over two years, I haven’t been trying to incorporate my man into an existing routine.  I’ve completely changed everything about my life and have been trying to build a new routine–in some ways an easier thing, but in other ways much harder. Continued

So, with all the talk going around about open relationships and “growing with your partner,” I feel like I have to come to the defense of good old monogamous sex.  I do admit that there’s something to the anticipation and sexual tension of a first time, and there’s obviously something to be said for variety.  However, aside from the obvious benefits of not having to use a condom, I think that monogamous sex has the potential to be far more exciting and fulfilling than sex with a bunch of different partners.  Here, Honey’s Top Five Benefits of Monogamous Sex. Continued

The BF has been overworked lately–lots of projects due, it’s his first year at the company so he’s everyone’s bitch, etc. He had recently apologized for this and vowed to spend the weekend relaxing with me, especially after he came home at 8:30 p.m. on Thursday and fell straight asleep (I had been walking the dog, usually his job, for several days). Unfortunately, it was not to be.

Friday he came home, again after 8 p.m., and fell asleep. He woke up much later and we walked the dog together, but by then it was after midnight and I was ready for bed (he’s an insomniac normally so with his nap he was wide awake). I was getting irritated because this was the second night in a row I’d been watching tv by myself downstairs (thanks to no friends in New City) while he slept, and then going to bed alone (no sex!) while he watched tv till the early hours.

Then he woke me up at 5:30 a.m. Saturday morning and asked me to take him to the Emergency Room. Continued

So I was reading on the LA Times Online about a new company called ScientificMatch that, for a mere $995 and a swab of your spit, will help you find your true love via genetic compatibility. The LA Times article talks a lot about smell–apparently, we are attracted to people who smell differently from us because they have different immune systems, and a child resulting from such a union has a greater chance at survival. Choosing a mate according to the criteria used by ScientificMatch means more sex, less cheating, and (for women at least) more orgasms. Continued

As you may have guessed from my comments, I don’t love my boyfriend’s dog. And, as owning two cats and no bedroom door (in my soon-to-be given up Flagstaff apartment) may suggest, I had more of my fair share of problems dating. However, pets are a very complicated issue. Here, my totally biased analysis of the pros and cons of having pets (or dating someone who does).

Continued

This is guest post from Lilly, my homeboy and wingman in Tampa. Lilly was a college athlete and he continues to take care of himself by going to the gym regularly and eating right.

Yo, Lilly here. Lance asked me to write a guest post on diet and fitness, so here it is. I’ve been exercising consistently since I was 15 years old. I’m still in good shape and I look and feel pretty damn good for being almost 32. When I was a kid, I was tall and skinny and I wanted to put some meat on my bones to get in better shape for surfing, look better for the girls, and feel better about myself. Well, I accomplished all three of those goals. Here’s what I did.

(Lilly may or may not look like this)

Diet

This one is going to be broken down into a number of items. For the normal person, diet is over 80% of the battle. Unless you’re Mark Wahlberg or Angelina Jolie (if you’re a chick), your diet is much more important than exercise. You are what you eat and that is a fact.

Continued