Here is What Game for 30-Year-Old Dudes Looks Like

Here is what game for guys in their 30’s (and beyond) should look like.

Guys in their 30’s should be successful professionals and have lots of money. At least enough money to sustain a good lifestyle and a family (if you’re into the family thing). You’re either a working professional with a cool career or a small business owner, or both. Either way, you’re driven, ambitious, creative, and a badass.

If you’re single, it’s by choice, and you can always get girlfriends. Even if you live in a small town in the middle of nowhere, you have options. It is preferred to live in an area where there are plenty of intelligent men and women…I recommend cities on coasts.

You should not spend all your time running game in bars and clubs. That’s a hassle and you’re past all that. You do go out on special occasions, but the primary purpose of that should be the occasion itself.

You did spend a good portion of your 20’s honing your game in bars and clubs and you have a solid skillset in social arts (ie pickup). You should be able to pick up hot chicks in a bar if you wanted to, but it’s old hat, like skateboarding because you learned how to do it when you were 10. When you’re 30, you use your social skills to network, build business connections, do deals, and create a baller social network with you in the center.

You’re great in the sack and know exactly what sexual style and values you’re compatible with. You’ve slept with plenty of women. If you’re 30, I recommend a number approaching 30 (or more) although it’s fine if it’s less as long as you know what you’re doing. Do NOT get into relationships with women whose sexual values conflict with yours.

Dudes in their 30’s are relationship-minded, have girlfriends, and are generally monogamous. You do not spend the bulk of your social time picking up chicks. This is a big switch from guys in their 20’s. If you’re 35 and still picking up chicks and have never had a relationship longer than three months, then you’re royally fucking up. It’s time to graduate to big boy status. LTR’s are preferred for professional dudes our age.

What’s great about being in your 30’s is you have a wide age range of chicks you can attract. All the way from 21-year-old hotties to sexy women in their 40’s. This is your prime and you can afford to be choosy.

At our age, guys should maintain several large social circles that are filled with successful and intelligent men and women. This is your personal NETWORK. It will include some close friends, a lot of colleagues and pals, and a few girlfriends or past girlfriends. You’ve probably spent a few years at least building this network up. This is a critical component and an area that I see most often neglected by clueless dudes. Having an excellent network is big boy game and it’s the reason you spent your 20’s figuring out attraction and fast seduction. You’re leveraging those basic skills to build a big boy network that explodes you through life.

Part of this network is having a couple of groups of really cool dudes to hang out with who are also successful, fun, and socially adept. I have 2-3 of these at all times and I put major energy into maintaining these relationships. My measuring stick for a cool dude is the following: “Would I go into battle with that guy?” If the answer is yes, he’s in my cool male friend category. A couple of those guys should be BFF status. This is another critical piece, and something I see older guys especially are lacking. You cannot go through life without close male friends, even if you’re married and have kids.

If you don’t have a couple of male BFF’s that you can say you’d go into battle with, your masculine energy will drain away and your polarity will become neutral. Fix that immediately.

If you’re traveling or going through a fuck-around period, for example right after a divorce, it’s cool to pickup chicks and generally be a jackass. In fact, I recommend it because it will reconnect you to your core. Once done, get back in the saddle and be normal.

We play sports and take care of our bodies. We work out and project an aura of athleticism, masculinity, strength, and health. If you are obviously exuding those qualities, you are a warrior.

If you’re not a warrior, drop whatever you’re doing and get with the fucking program. You should be able to run a mile in the heat and then lift heavy shit for an hour. You should be able to hike over a mountain on a rescue mission if called to do so. All real men are tested in this way, often many times in their lives. Be prepared for these tests.

You should be difficult to kill. And women love you because you are a warrior badass, not because of anything else. Those are basic qualifications for being a man.



  • PUA Vault

    “LTR’s are preferred for professional dudes our age.” – uh? I’m 35, and I have a ‘primary’, but unless I know she’s marriage material, I’ll never commit 100% to her. If, however, one such specimen were to come around, that’ll be the day I hang my game boots.

  • Matt Savage

    Hehe, sounds like someone just turned 30 :)

  • Evan Marc Katz

    Solid post, Lance. I was with you up until the very end…maybe because that’s where you revoked my man card: “You should be able to run a mile in the heat and then lift heavy shit for an hour…You should be difficult to kill.”

    If this were 1900, perhaps.

    Today, my pleasures are taking trips to NYC or SF with my wife and baby, watching football on Sunday, having sangria in the pool in the backyard.

    I simply don’t have the time or desire to be difficult to kill.

    But that’s not the real point. The point is that, by 35, you better start stepping into your manhood and taking on an adult outlook on life, and I think you pretty much nailed it.

  • Lance

    @Vault, LTRs are preferred for normal professional dudes because of the time factor…we can’t be fucking around in bars and juggling 3-4 chicks because we’re busy and we use all of our creative energy for business. I’d even argue that it’s healthy to have NO girlfriend for stretches in our 30’s when we’re really hammering on our professional life.

    Besides that, there’s nothing wrong with an LTR. Having a quality gf is excellent.

  • Honey

    haha, Lance is in his mid-30s…but as for the article, yes if you haven’t had LTRs at this point it’s kinda lame. ANYONE can be interesting for a night or a few months, anyone can get laid by going to a venue where everyone is looking for that. EASY. At this point I have a hard time thinking of 2 years as long term. Can you be interesting and manly for 5-10 years to someone who knows you inside out and who’s seen you at your worst? Now that’s something.

  • Deaf singles

    I think I need to get my big boy game on. I’m pretty much failing at every item on your list.

  • CathrynneRose

    Um, the girls do the choosing. Not the guys. It’s biology.

  • Chiara

    As a woman, I do not know how to react to this post. It’s almost as if I found your big boy diary and read all your secrets. Well, some are secrets… most sound like New Year’s resolutions…

    This is kind of fantastic. Thank you. I might approach this guy to guest post on my website.

  • Honey

    Thought this would be interesting for you, Lance:

    Also, isn’t EMK in his 40s? If so, does he still have to be “hard to kill”?


  • Lance

    EMK is basically my age. Being hard to kill is ageless. All men should be athletes at some level and have the capacity for hard work. When I say hard work, I mean: Hiking over a mountain to go on a rescue mission. Or piling sandbags up for hours prior to a storm or flood. If a man doesn’t have that physical capacity or would shirk from those duties, he’s lazy and lost touch with one of his core qualities. He’s too mind centered and need to balance that out. You don’t have to be a basketball player to be an athlete.

    I read the article. I agree completely that there is a ton of confusion on manhood and mixed messages get sent to boys and young men. No question. That is essentially the focus of my content these days. I believe in industriousness, but I don’t believe the Western concepts of marriage and religion are critical to the male experience.

  • Rosalia

    After reading this blog post, I feel that all the men in 30 are bad asses. They just move around with hot chicks. What I personally feel is that, it would be very wrong for a married man in 30 to do these things.

  • Sex Toys

    Yes, definitely we are! and very proud of it. Asses of the world Unite!

  • Leo

    The inspiration which you provide through this blog post is great. But it is quite difficult to have successful professional life in the age of 30. I think there is no time frame to spend good lifestyle, if you afford good lifestyle at any age, you can go ahead and there is no need to wait till age 30.

  • Private Girls Australia

    I couldn’t agree more! I love 30’s guys. They’re mature and they know what they are doing. :)

  • Private Girl Australia

    Interesting read. The men I met over 30 are still douche bags. Specially the successful ones.

  • Rebeca – Siren

    Great post Lance! We know Sex in the young(teen age/premature age/amateur) is fast and furious and the later part is what the story you have described in this article. Personally, I think sex drive only decreases when you kept to the same partner 😉

  • olivia34newton

    OMG! I will ask my brother about this, he just turned 30. LOL!

  • Brian Burke

    I’ve been a dating coach for men for a long time, reading, writing, thinking…and this is easily one of the most powerful wake-up calls I’ve ever come across.

    You paint an ideal scenario for a 30 year old, but if a guy gets a late start, or has some hard challenges, he may not meet all the standards you lay out.

    But it’s a great standard to shoot for. Loved reading this bro!

  • Lance

    Thanks Brian! It took me awhile to get to the point where I knew all that, but it’s been worth it. I hope it helps other dudes.

  • Chat Chick

    Great post. I couldn’t agree with you more, for anyone, male or female, that if you’re in your 30’s and still picking up chicks and dicks, then you’re missing out. Personally, nothing is more satisfying than finding someone that is willing to get to know you and do all of the things necessary to keep you satisfied and not just sexually. And please don’t misunderstand, I’m not pushing marriage, but at least a monogamous relationship. Sure there’s plenty of fish in the sea, but how many have already been caught and thrown back?? No tellin what you’ll catch if you’re not careful. Thanks for sharing and feel free to visit us as well.

  • Veronica C

    Yes! Sounds great. I would add that he needs to be tough emotionally, too. Don’t be a pussy about your feelings. Know what you want and express it when appropriate. Don’t be afraid to get hurt, emotionally or admit defeat when it happens. Then move on!
    I’m 27 and I rarely encountered guys in college or my age who had enough confidence to make me feel like my metaphorical balls weren’t bigger than theirs…

  • Chris

    When I read this I laughed a little. Is this an article for the mystery method? I translated this article as “If you are not living and have lived your life exactly like this, then you are not awesome, and if you are not awesome then you are a piece of shit and not a real man. Go crawl in a hole and die.”

    The photo is best part of this article.

  • Lance

    I’ve read several MM products so there’s no question I’ve been influenced by that. I’m also in my 30s and I’m summarizing and passing on my own experiences.

  • JB the Mummy

    You keep talking about 30s this and 30s that, dude are u uncomfortable with your age? As long as you love what you do age doesn’t matter. Whether you still chasing girls or not. Madonna is 1000 years old but she still kicking ass in music. Don’t get offended, just something to think about . . . Nice post on Paul Janka by the way. That guy is hilarious (I mean that as a compliment). Cheers!

  • Nyats

    Thumbs up for JB he’s right, as long as you are good and enjoying with what you are doing age doesn’t really. What’s my age again?lol, by the way I came across into this site while checking out some high class sydney escort