Barack Obama Tells Us What Romance Is

I found this interesting survey on The Frisky: Should your date ask permission before leaning in for the first kiss?

Before I blog my answer, The Frisky did their survey because apparently Barack Obama asked Michelle for permission before kissing her on their first date. This was over Baskin-Robbins ice cream. I thought that was pretty interesting. When I checked the survey results, 53% of respondents said no, he should just read my signals and make a decision vs. 24% that said yes, that’s what a gentleman would do.

I think that asking for permission before the first kiss is pretty wussy. For one, if you can’t read the signals, it shows a lack of social intelligence, and two, it shows a lack of confidence. Woman want to be kissed, and they want the first kiss to be exciting. If you ask permission, you risk defusing that excitement. Just go for it, dude.

Of course, leading up to the first kiss, make sure you run your game and kino escalate properly. If you think you HAVE to ask for permission, you’re probably not there yet.

Obama Tells Us What Romance REALLY Is

This quote from Obama, about romance, was money:

What I realize as I get older is that Michelle is less concerned about me giving her flowers than she is that I’m doing things that are hard for me…carving out time. That to her is proof, evidence that I’m thinking about her. She appreciates the flowers, but to her romance is that I’m actually paying attention to things that she cares about, and time is always an important factor.

People, not only is Barack Obama our next president, but he’s giving us relationship advice. And guess what? It’s PURE GOLD. This is the one thing that EVERYONE needs to work on in a relationship. Compromise and making time. Boom, there it is. If you do those two things, you’re solid.

See this page for a bunch of quotes and interesting relationship facts about the Obamas.

If you just go for it on the first date, you might also enjoy these posts:

  • Infinity

    Obama is the man, hands down.

    Time – too much and you’re smothering. Too little, and you’re negligent. The right amount and you’ll take care of one of the more important issues in relationship management.

    Infinity´s last blog post…Am I A Pick Up Artist?

  • Hammer

    Totally bro, I can’t agree with you more about asking for the kiss being wussy. I see it in terms of the 80/20 rule. If you think that you can go in for the kiss, 80% of the time you can, 20% of the time you cant. But a lot of this depends on how confidently you do it.

    20% of the time she’ll kiss you know matter what you say or do (asking her) and 20% of the time she’ll never do it, leaving 60% in the middle to depend on body language and confidence. If you wait until she says yes, you’ve probably waited too long as a confident guy could have gotten it hours earlier and escalated from there.

    Hammer´s last blog post…LR: Bathroom at the Swallowschween Party

  • T

    Yeah, I agree… nothing like a man reading the signals and sweeping me off my feet.

    I also love when Obama said,

    “I’m reminded every single day that I am not a perfect man. I will not be a perfect president. But I can promise you this. I will always tell you what I think, and where I stand. I will always be honest with you about the challenges we face. I will listen to you when we disagree. And most importantly, I will open the doors of government and ask you to be involved in your own democracy again.”

    *sigh* Change the ‘president’ to boyfriend or husband. Change the ‘government’ stuff to relationship and BINGO! The perfect man…

    Its an Obama LOVE FEST!! Woohoo!

    T´s last blog post…Monogamous but kinky; Confident but humble

  • Holly Hoffman

    I think it depends on how it is asked, and whether or not the guy is reading the signals correctly.

    I think it could be asked in such a way that it could be sweet and sexy at the same time. I’ve had both good and awkward experiences with both methods. Good ends with a kiss either way you ask, and bad ends with a head-turn and/or a “no” in both cases.

    If I wanted a guy to kiss me, there’s not much he could say at that point to get me not to. If I don’t want a guy to kiss me, there’s not much he could say or do to get a smooch out of me.

    Holly Hoffman´s last blog post…Welcome 2Sense Online Readers!

  • dadshouse

    Obama rocks. As for first kisses – I’ve gone both routes. There are times I read the signals and there is electricity, and I just go for it. Those kisses are usually heavy duty, because the woman is into it. Other times I’ve asked, wanting to be the gentleman. I did this with a woman who I ended up dating for over a year. She found my wussy-ness to be a sign of sensitivity, which was a turn-on for her. She’d been used to guys man-handling her. (Not to say I didn’t man-handle her in bed later on, but the start was very respectful)

    dadshouse´s last blog post…Date Stacking

  • moody.bitch

    Romance and the gestures which accompany it are not a “game” you “run” so that you can “escalate” from there. In fact, that kind of mentality is the antithesis of “romance”. Ugh.

    Now if a guy is asking the question because he is truly unsure of the answer, then he probably should wait until he knows without a doubt that the woman is into it too.

    Or, if all he wants to do is expand his own confidence without considering what the person sitting across from him *might actually prefer*, then he can play it like an odds game and swoop in for the kiss (hope he doesn’t get the cheek!)

    But looking soulfully into the eyes of a woman who you can tell is *totally* into you, and asking ever so softly as you lean forward, “May I kiss you?” can actually heighten the anticipation and ultimately, make the kiss more memorable – because so few guys would ever think to do it.

    Damn, now I’m wet.

    moody.bitch´s last blog post…Overcoming Low Self-Esteem And Dealing with Jerks

  • Kiera

    I’m on the fence. Asking for the kiss can work sometimes and be awkward others. It all depends on the man, the situation and the entire lead up. It could come off as super sexy or really lame.

    For example…

    Hot: Leaning in to go for a kiss -pause- ask permission softly.

    Not: Asking from three feet away with no body contact.

    Kiera´s last blog post…"Be Good"

  • Debo Hobo

    I think we are going to glean a lot of useful social skills from this young and frisky couple. Life is coming back to the White House, life that hasn’t been seen since Jack&Jackie.

    Debo Hobo´s last blog post…America’s Veterans Answered The Call

  • Lance

    Debbie, thanks for visiting. I think Obama has excellent game (social skills) and the he and his wife are going to be relationship role models.

  • Andrew Yu-Jen Wang

    Speaking of Barack Obama:

    Barack Obama is a racial-minority individual, and in his heart and mind he inevitably does not endorse hate crimes committed by George W. Bush.

    George W. Bush committed hate crimes of epic proportions and with the stench of terrorism (indicated in my blog).

    George W. Bush did in fact commit innumerable hate crimes.

    And I do solemnly swear by Almighty God that George W. Bush committed other hate crimes of epic proportions and with the stench of terrorism which I am not at liberty to mention.

    Many people know what Bush did.

    And many people will know what Bush did—even to the end of the world.

    Bush was absolute evil.

    Bush is now like a fugitive from justice.

    Bush is a psychological prisoner.

    Bush has a lot to worry about.

    Bush can technically be prosecuted for hate crimes at any time.

    In any case, Bush will go down in history in infamy.

    Submitted by Andrew Yu-Jen Wang
    B.S., Summa Cum Laude, 1996
    Messiah College, Grantham, PA
    Lower Merion High School, Ardmore, PA, 1993

    I am not sure where I had read it before, but anyway, it is a linguistically excellent statement, and it goes kind of like this: “If only it were possible to ban invention that bottled up memories so they never got stale and faded.” Oh wait—off the top of my head—I think the quotation came from my Lower Merion High School yearbook.