An Epic Day and Night (Dia Tres)

On Saturday of the Retreat we awoke at 6:00 am, drove out to a bus stop, and took the bus to the mountains for a whitewater rafting trip.  Travel time one-way was 3 hours. If you visit the DR and have never done whitewater rafting, try it, it’s awesome. You can go to any tour shop and sign up…there’s only one outfit, and it’s in Jarabacoa.

For US$60, you get a bus ride on an air conditioned bus, breakfast at the ranch, a 2.5 hour rafting trip down a decent rivier, and then lunch and drinks. It’s an amazing deal, especially when you consider rafting trips in the US can cost $100 or more. Rather than blog about it, you can view a highlight video on  God bless those guys.

What I got out of it: A great bonding experience with the guys and an experience that was built around athletics and teamwork (as opposed to partying and gaming chicks). My heart rate definitely shot through the roof on several of the trickier rapids. Almost everyone in the raft was THROWN or FELL OUT…at one point, the raft flipped, I bailed and got sucked down a rapid, only to be hauled out bodily by one of the other raft guides. It was freakin’ intense. I don’t know if this happens regularly on U.S. rafting trips, but there was a distinct element of danger and I got bumped and scraped up. I loved every second of it.

Also, the raft guys are totally cool, lots of fun, and totally jacked. What makes a trip like this are the hosts/guides, and these guys were rock stars.

Text Game In Spanish

We got back to the Drug Lord Palace around 7:00 pm. More pool action and Presidentes, although everyone was totally pooped. A couple of the guys napped. We couldn’t stop raving about how awesome the rafting was.

One of the guys ran a bit of text game on his girl from the previous night.

His line: “Le quiero.” I want you. Pretty simple, but it turned out to be effective. He texted back and forth with the girl with his shitty Spanish, got her on the phone, and got her to agree to meet us with some of her friends for a night out clubbing. It was on, again.

We picked up the girls around 11:00 pm. There were only three of them this time, INCLUDING Lola, to my pleasant surprise. She was dressed in a sheer green outfit, high skirt, and looked fantastic. She sat in the back seat and immediately started kino flirting with me (rubbing my hair, shoulders, etc). I was a bit confused because of how I had gotten blown off last night, but I rolled with it. It was time to party.

The Epic Night

We started at Latino’s, a badass party bar in Sosua, close to our house. Latino’s featured an open-air patio bar in the front and an inside dancefloor in the back of the house. The crowd was almost entirely locals, with just a few touristas. We took over one side of the bar and got warmed up by drinking and flirting with the girls. I attempted to flirt with Lola, but again my lack of Spanish confined me to kino and BL only. As I got warmed up I felt my mojo coming back.

Me and Lola Dancing

(Me getting frisky with Lola.)

We met one guy, an older gentlemen (60’s is my guess) from Houston, who drank with us for a bit. He eventually left with a petite hooker, a cute local girl in her 20’s. I believe the Houston guy was married, although I’m not totally sure. One thing about the party scene in DR: there are TONS of hookers. Hookers everywhere, all shapes, sizes, and ages. If you even make eye contact with them, they’re on you like lampreys. Avoid like the clap, unless you want to pay for sex that is.

Fling bumped into the fourth girl from the first night, and he gamed her into our party. So now we were a group of 11, with seven gringos and four local girls.

After Latino’s we hit After One, a dance club in Sosua. This place was like a regular club in the US: nice interior, cover charge, decent bathrooms, nice bars, good DJ, expensive drinks. Again, the crowd was almost entirely locals, the young ballers and hot chicas on the scene. Our group of eleven took over the center of the house and lorded the dancefloor for the next several hours. I noticed we got a lot of looks from the local male population. I imagine they were thinking what the hell we were doing with their women? It’s arguable that we had the four hottest DR girls in the town in our group, so it must have looked odd to the outsiders. Fortunately, no one fucked with us.

Around 4:30 we went back to the house. Again, the boys and girls paired off and disappeared into the bedrooms. I kicked Fling out of my room. Lola beckoned me to bed. We tore our clothes off and I commenced another night of improving US-DR relations, this time with much more vigorous and improved sex.


Here’s a pretty good visual representation of how we felt in the morning. Definitely partied out.

Mike's Sleeping on the couch

(Stoute taking a Siesta.)

Airplane Pickup

Tearfully, we left the Drug Lord Palace amidst much lamentation and sadness. May she host many a party and sexcapade, and may I be fortunate enough to enjoy her magnificence in the future. Sweet Jesus, this house was the Pimp of All Pimps. The good life simply oozed from her walls.

The whole group hit the airport around 2:00 pm. It hadn’t hit me yet how much I was going to miss this group and the trip.

Somehow the stars aligned and I was seated next to a hot chick on the airplane. Her name was Mae, approx. age 20, college student in South Florida. Really nice, well traveled girl. We chatted on the plane and showed each other pictures of our respective trips (I made sure to NOT show her pictures of Lola). I did a minimum of socializing because I was tired and pretty scuzzy, but I just couldn’t help myself…email and phone close at the end of the flight. We’ve since texted and emailed each other and might get together in the future.

What a trip! As I was telling Bobby and Mike shortly after we got back to the States, this was the best trip I’ve EVER been on, and I stand by that statement.

Check out day 1 and day 2 if you enjoyed this post.

  • Bobby Rio

    The last day of the trip was EPIC… I remember at one point.. being completely shit faced, surrounded by locals.. in a total unfamiliar environment.. and jsut looking over at you, fling, and Gekko dancing with your women… and thinkig “how fucking cool is this?”

  • Bobby Rio

    By the way… i don’t recommend the “i want you” text to US girls… Dominicans are a lot more aggressive… and appreciate an aggressive man.

    in fact my first couple times there I was referred to as “El Timido” which means shy… because I treated them the way you would treat a girl in the states..

    they expect kino immediately…

    But like Lance said, you have to be careful of the hookers.. But you can usually tell which ones are hookers by the way they act, dress, gather in a corner not drinking…

    My rule is: if the girl approaches you- she’s a hooker.

    But, im sure that 60 year old had a fun night!!

    Damn… reading these reports makes me miss the trip!!!

  • The Virgin

    These are the guy moments you treasure in life…thank god for memories 😉

  • Me Thinks

    Wait, you left something out. What was the reason she blew you off the night before? One of your peeps said he knew why but would let you tell the story.

    The rafting sounds like a complete fucking blast! I have been wanting to go to DR for a while, now its definitely my next trip.

  • Lance

    Methinks, I’m writing an insights and conclusions post today…will includes that. If you end up going to DR, shoot me an email and I’ll give you the inside scoop.

  • Danimal’s Wife

    Dan says to watch the girls from airplanes/airports. You’ll be fucked before you know it.

  • Lance

    Dude, I laughed out loud when I read that. Very nice. Will be good to hang next week…

  • dadshouse

    I agree with Bobby Rio – you can be super aggressive with latina chicks. The “I want you” text wouldn’t fly as well here with American women. But latinas want to be wanted. Sometimes it’s a big game – they try to make their man jealous and boiling hot mad. Makes him more dominant when he claims her again.

    Sounds like a great time. And the 20 y.o. on the airplane – you are sending a good karma pick-up vibe into the universe, for sure.