Honey
Kat Wilder
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The Dateable DorkAdventures in YouPorn
By Honey on Sep 28, 2009 in Sex
While in my opinion (and Jake’s) we always have a great sex life, it’s been awhile since we spiced things up. You know, by doing something like taking pictures while having sex, having sex outside, or having sex when sharing a hotel room with some roommates. So about a week ago, we finally visited YouPorn.
Although I’m not sure (and am afraid to click around the site too much because I don’t want my computer to catch e-syphillis), I think the premise of YouPorn is that, like YouTube, these are real people uploading their own videos. The quality certainly varies widely, and I have a feeling that lots of these folks are actually professionals (although the video quality is not).
It’s great because since we both get turned on by watching it, we can sometimes skip the foreplay and go straight to sex (which is nice in theory, but not always nice in reality). Other times, watching all that foreplay makes us want to focus on that for a nice long while. My favorite part is that, if we’re wearing pajamas while watching, not only can I glance down and see that he’s getting hard, I can also see the drops of pre-cum soaking through his pajama bottoms. This always leads me to reach inside and draw his dick out, running my thumb over the now-slippery head and then sucking it off my own thumb…
Yesterday he was so clearly torn between wanting to finish the video and wanting to ravish me immediately that it was at once the funniest, sexiest, sweetest thing I’ve ever seen. When he was helping me use my vibrator afterwards, it took me awhile to cum…but that’s because when I did, it lasted almost two minutes! Beautiful.
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Hi Honey, I’ve been reading your blog for a while now, 1st time commenting. I must say, wow, that’s really cool that you and your bf can watch porn together. I like it a lot myself, personally, but it’s an extremely awkward subject with any bf, past and present. It’s NOT that I feel like it’s degrading to women at all, and of course I know that he is turned on by other women, but I just can’t bear to watch my own bf have a reaction towards other women (even knowing that the women in the computer are not threats to our relationship). I guess it makes me feel very insecure and jealous, like, the girls in there may have better bodies than me, maybe he prefers those to mine, etc., and just witnessing him getting turned on by others makes me so jealous. I’ve got a couple of female friends who feel the same way (and about strip clubs too)….interested to hear your thoughts on that or how/why you feel differently.
Thanks for the comment, Nicole! I don’t mind porn but can’t imagine ever watching it without him. I prefer reading erotica and have written Jake an original story, which he LOVED. I also have a friend who is an amateur photographer and professional filmmaker, and he did a book of photos of me when I was in my early twenties that is just spectacular. Jake has the book in his bedside table
As far as jealousy…I think that it’s less an individual reaction to the women involved and more about watching sex that turns Jake on, at least as he’s explained it to me. His internal monologue isn’t really, “that girl is so hot, I wish I were having sex with her” as it is “SEX!!!! SEX!!!!!” And then he wants to have some…and I’m happy to oblige! I think if he were watching porn alone all the time INSTEAD OF having sex with me, I’d have a different reaction.
As far as feeling insecure about your own body, don’t! Unless we are talking VERY high end porn (not youporn at all) very few of those people have bodies to brag about. Jake and I went to a live sex show when we were in Amsterdam and those people weren’t so hot, either.
Jake HATES strip clubs, so he/we don’t go. I used to go with a guy friend of mine all the time when younger, but I don’t think Jake would like if I did that either so I just skip it. I don’t think I’d like Jake getting a lap dance or having a naked/seminaked woman flirt with him, either. But my experience is that if you’re in a committed relationship and go with your partner, the women are more likely to hit on the other woman than they are the guy.
Honey´s last blog …Adventures in YouPorn
Honey, I completely agree with you. There’s a difference between men who watch porn as a replacement for their partners and men who watch porn *with* their partners. My ex was in the first group (he once got fired from a job for downloading porn after hours–um, CREEPY), but I think men in the second group, who are comfortable enough with their sexuality to watch porn with their partners, are kinda sexy.
I’m thinking I should check out YouPorn because, as much as I like sex, I can’t turn off my feminist sensibilities for long enough to watch more than about 15 minutes of traditionally-produced porn.
demeter´s last blog …Ah, so that’s why girls play hard to get!
Oh, I ran it by Jake and he agreed.
His internal monologue while watching porn is, indeed, “SEX!!!! SEX!!!!”
Which is also pretty much what he told me he was thinking when he lost his virginity. And for days afterward
Honey´s last blog …Adventures in YouPorn
Well color me magenta and call me a gooseberry. OH LA LA.
Janak´s last blog …Weekly Roundup – Top 10 Casual Sex Links from Around the Web
I agree with you! I love watching porn with my lover!!! I also enjoyed strip shows as well – though my current bf doesn’t enjoy them near as much as my last bf.
I too saw a live sex show while in Amsterdam. It was fun to watch but it also seemed so… unemotional.
Another book that really helped me with this, and was a fun read, was Manslations. I guess men just think about sex all the time anyway. Not a big revelation.
Great post honey!
T´s last blog …I need sex
Thanks, T! I agree the sex show was pretty unemotional for the two parties having sex…also the guy kept slapping the girl’s pussy with his dick, which we ALL know means he’s afraid he’s not hard enough…so I was having performance anxiety for him
Honey´s last blog …Adventures in YouPorn
Ha! I should say that our second YouPorn adventure was his payback for my making him watch Iron Chef America Battle: Goat Cheese on YouTube
Honey´s last blog …Adventures in YouPorn
Sites like YouPorn and RedTube used to have good (and seemingly legitimate) amateur stuff, but since the adult paid sites hopped on board they’ve gone downhill. Brazzers completely ruined RedTube as they fill the site with truncated two minute clips.
But whenever something starts to go mainstream or too ruined by marketing, someone usually goes off and starts something in response which recaptures what was good about the old days. Wouldn’t surprise me if that has happened already.
Shannon, I agree with you. My bf and I spent quite a while last night trying to find a non-Brazzers clip on RedTube. Sheesh!
T´s last blog …I need sex
Try xhamster.com, they have a good mix of pro and amateur stuff and the site is fairly clean, very light on pop-ups and the like. I like it much better than YouPorn or RedTube.
When I have a steady and I watch porn solo, which happens occasionally, it’s always because I want to view something that I don’t normally see, such as girl-on-girl or the like. It simply fulfills a fantasy or fetish in some capacity. When I watch porn WITH a partner, it’s usually used as foreplay. I’ve had a couple of female partners who love porn, and I encourage them to explore porn solo (and with me) to find things they like that we can test out later. For example, some girls don’t realize they like bondage until they view it extensively, so that’s a good find.
I think porn is highly insightful and goes a long way towards increasing your own lovemaking skills, so I encourage everyone to watch it.
Lance´s last blog …Adventures in YouPorn
Also, one comment I forgot, I prefer amateur stuff featuring women with decent but realistic bodies over super hot porn star bodies. The more “real” it looks, the more it works for me.
Lance´s last blog …Adventures in YouPorn