No, not that kind of rough night, though I certainly hoped so at the beginning (and even told Lance that was the plan during an evening IM exchange). In light of Lance’s awesome video post about how to be a good girlfriend, let’s review the week so far.
The BF left his car at a buddy’s place on Friday night because I was the DD, and we go to pick it up Sunday. We know the battery’s dead but we had no idea how dead. It took like 20 minutes of charging off my car before the jump took, and then we drove to the nearest auto parts store. The battery’s only a year old but he doesn’t have his receipt and doesn’t know what store sold it. We spend a ton of time trying to track this down, he hasn’t eaten and is getting cranky, ends up just buying a new battery where we were and the helpful staff let him change it himself since he’s a dude. The day is ruined.
A.M. I am completely convinced that I’m going to finally be on time to work, but lo and behold when I go to empty the litter box in the spare bedroom my cat has pissed on the bed. This necessitates immediate removal of the sheet and comforter to the washing machine, throwing away the egg-crate thing underneath, and cleaning the mattress. The BF is asleep through all of this, though he does start the wash again so it’s gone through the cycle twice by the time I get home that night.
P.M. We’re out of everything so I stop by two grocery stores and the pet store on the way home to pick up all the things that we need. The BF does put away all the groceries since I bought them all, though I do take out the trash, clean the mattress again with some special deodorizer I bought at the pet store, run the sheets through the washer again and put them in the dryer.
I get home before he does and can’t take the messy house any longer. I clean the toilets, the tub, the bathroom counter, put the sheets back on the bed in the spare bedroom, vacuum the spare bedroom, the landing, and the stairs. He does make dinner; I’m in bed by 10. I suggest that he joins me (wink) and he suggests a raincheck so that we can have morning sex.
This is where it gets ugly. He comes to bed at midnight, so I kick the cats out of the bedroom (they usually sleep with me until he comes to bed, then it’s just people). He falls sound asleep immediately (his doctor switched his sleeping pills to Ambien and it works like a charm) but is snoring like a chainsaw. I shake him awake, which he yells at me for doing, then promptly falls asleep and starts snoring again.
The cat is crying outside the door.
I try to just fall asleep, but one or the other of the two is waking me up every 5-10 minutes so I’m getting no sleep at all. I try to shake the BF awake again but he’s absolutely dead to the world. I get up and go downstairs to get the water bottle, spray the cat so he’ll get away from the bedroom door. I go back to bed. The BF is now laying diagonally across the bed and no matter how hard I shake him or push, I can’t get him to wake up or to get on his side of the bed again. The cat cries at the bedroom door; I open the door, spray him in the face, go back to bed.
Repeat until 2:30.
By this time I’m so frustrated I start crying hysterically, which I am kind of hoping will wake up the BF but no dice. I decide to go sleep in the spare bedroom, and slam the door to the master bedroom as hard as I can, twice, on my way out. I then cry myself to sleep. The alarm on my phone goes off at 5:45.
I get ready for work, the BF still blissfully asleep. By the time I’m ready to leave he’s huddled under a towel by the shower (his typical morning position). I debate about whether or not to tell him about all this because the stuff that happened last night wasn’t his fault (hell, he wasn’t even conscious for most of it) but I know he’ll want to kiss me goodbye and I’m so mad I can barely look at him, so I tell him what happened (and start crying again).
He apologizes profusely because a) he feels terrible for snoring and hogging the bed, and b) because as an insomniac himself he knows how frustrating it is to not be able to fall asleep when you have to work the next day. He hugs me (and he’s naked, which cheers me up a little since I get to grab his butt) and then says, “so I guess we’ll have to take a raincheck on morning sex, too, huh?”
Um, we slept in separate beds last night. I’m going to have to say definitely raincheck on the sex.
If this post made you want to cry and slam doors, too, you might enjoy: