You’re going to love this. I had a really wacky night of dates recently that completely went off the rails. Here’s the setup: I had been talking with this hot chick on Facebook that I went out with a few times last year…I blogged about it in my Keeping It Real post. I hadn’t seen nor talked to her since that date until recently when I ran into her while running. From there, we chitchatted over FB and I heated things up to the point where she agreed to meet for drinks and catch up. This chick was my type, an athlete, blonde, a little crazy, etc etc.
We met at my favorite worse-divebar-in-town. This divebar is so terrible that the drinks are basically clear and it’s a cash only joint. That kind of dive bar. We conversed with good energy, things were going along swimmingly, and I was preparing to bounce us to another location. I had in mind that this would be an easy close. I could tell she was attracted. I even employed some instant social proofing by befriending the couple sitting next to us and bringing them into our conversation, further increasing the energy level and creating the aura that we were now a couple.
Sooo, get this, she gets a text message. She hangs her purse on her arm, finishes her one beer, and puts a five dollar bill on the bar. I’m like, WTF, where are you going? We had been hanging out for less than an hour. She skates out of there. I’m literally sitting by myself at the bar with a half finished Jack-and-Coke wondering what the hell hjust happened.
We talked about relationships and sex a fair bit for the short time we were hanging out, and here are some salient points:
* Since the last time we saw each other, she had had a one-month relationship with a 50-year-old (she’s approx. my age).
* She had also had a fling with a 21-year-old who lied about his age in order to sleep with her. She said she didn’t care about the lie and they continued to fuck for a couple of weeks. I told her I didn’t care about the lying, and it was true, I didn’t. I’ve done worse things to get laid and to be perfectly honest, I thought it was funny.
So in the car I texted her and asked flat out if she had just ditched me for a another date. It turned out she done EXACTLY that. Not for the 21-year-old, but some other schmoe that was in the works. I indicated I didn’t care about the schmoe and if she wanted to have fun sometime, I was down…she said that was cool.
So even though I wasn’t pissed about getting ditched because she’s just a player like me, I was pissed. So I texted this Mediocre Chick and told her to meet me at another bar downtown for a drink. She agreed. She met me and I was fairly drunk and assholey but still funny and cool and she was into me as usual. I figured if I was getting ditched I was at least going to my Plan B. Fuck, this chick was so into me she even paid my bill, even though she only drank water.
Mediocre Chick insisted that I come to her place even though I wanted to go home (true). We went and bullshitted for like an hour while I messed with her cats. I made out with her several times but every time I made out with her she started talking and telling a story about something-or-other. I’m like, are we making out here or telling stories? because if we’re telling stories I’m going home. It was 2:00 am by this time.
So after the last make-out and story telling episode, I stood up, grabbed my shit, and walked out of there with her just sitting there. She won’t stop texting me now. I would have bonked her but I was simply too bored out of my skull to make it happen.
See, Kat Wilder, dating is the Wild West. If I’m not running game on a hot chick who double books her dates, I’m hanging out with a chick who is so boring she’s unnailable.