5 Girlfriends At Once

Today I want to talk about having multiple girlfriends. That’s right, when I say gf’s I mean apostrophe s. Even you have a hot girlfriend and you’re perfectly happy with that situation, more power to you. But, if you want to be a player and you’d like to “date” several different women at once, this post is for you.

Back in caveman times all alpha pimp cavemen had harems of cavewomen hotties, serving them grapes and servicing their needs, and it was totally cool. It’s wired into our DNA. It’s only because of Puritans and shows like the Wonder Years that we get stuck dating one chick, often times a non-hottie, and eventually getting married and getting fat. Aaagggggh! Sorry, my nutsack just had a spasm. Men are hardwired to have multiple partners and you can see evidence of this in the male of virtually any species on the planet. This is why, even if you’ve got a gf and you’re getting laid constantly, you still have the urge to have sex with other women. It’s an issue of variety.

For me personally, five girlfriends is about all I can handle. Some ultra pimps out there go for larger harems. My pal Tim has managed seven chicks at once for a stretch. One of the professional pickup guys, Jeffy, maintains up to 15 gf’s at a time. Nice. That’s a bit too much drama for me, though. With that many gf’s they would all have their periods at the same time and it would be hell. How do you deal with all the drama?? I’d leave town and jerk it for a week.


Here’s my breakdown on the ideal five girlfriend harem. You might have a different setup in mind, but this formation works well for me.

GF1: A hottie MILF. I know what you’re thinking, Lance, dude, why hang out with a single mom? But let me tell you, hottie moms are totally cool. 1) They don’t get laid that often, so they majorly want to bang your nutz off, and 2) since they have to hang out with their kid all the time, you won’t have to see them that much! Seeing each other one day a week is pretty easy here. Also the mom gf would be very down to Earth and intelligent and since she’s a mom, she could nurture me and feed me chicken soup when I’m sick and stuff. And if the kid is cool, we could rock out to Halo 3 and Madden. It can be totally sweet.

GF2 & 3: Two hot party girls. We’re talking super hotties here that I can go downtown with and have a kickass time. They would be young, like college age or just out of college. One has to be tall, like 5’10” or 5’11”. The other one can be shorter, but not too much shorter, and both will have immense boobs. We’re talking your basic eye candy so when you roll up to the club you look VIP. These two would be bi (naturally), and I would occasionally be able to take them out at the same time, provided they didn’t cause too much drama for Lance.

GF4: A Professional Hottie. She has to be a VP or better yet a lawyer and make tons of money. Six figures minimum. Obviously she’s going to be really buttoned up and fussy and wear suits to work. Since she makes tons of money, she would take me out to expensive dinners and buy me clothes and watches and stuff. Here’s the kicker, the Lawyer Hottie needs to be kind of a bitch, so she’ll bust my balls and call me out on my shit. If I got too wasted at one of our expensive dinners–whoopsie, too many martinis again–she’d bitch me out and drive my drunkass home in her Lexus. And then we’d have some crazy monkey sex on the living room floor. It’s good to get your ego stepped on every once in awhile. The Lawyer Hottie is perfect for that.

GF5: The cute chilled out Pot Smoker. I want her to be good looking but NOT too good looking, like a 7.5 or 8. Her defining trait is her cool personality. Likely, she would be a waitress or work in the service industry, doesn’t mind staying in so we could get high together, and would be totally chill. She would go with me to watch sporting events. Almost like one of the guys, except she’s cute and wants to get some Lance double D 1-2 times per week. You know what I’m talking about.

So there you have it people, my perfect 5 girlfriend harem. You’re probably asking, dude Lance, how can you GET 5 girlfriends much less manage them all, well I’m gonna save that for a later post.

Here are some other kinds of hotties that I considered but didn’t make the cut for one reason or another:

  • Athlete Hottie
  • Stripper gf
  • Supersmart bookworm hottie
  • Rocker chicks
  • Models

How big would your harem be? What kind of chicks do you want in it? Leave your comments below.

  • Lilly

    Okay, I REALLY wanted to pipe in on this one. Dude, Lance, have you tried to date more than one girl for an extended period?? It’s a fucking mess, especially if you think you can go to the gym 6 days a week. Forget it, bro, if you had 5 chicks you wouldn’t be doing anything but smooth talking to them why you can’t spend Monday with them instead of Tuesday. I will say that I did date 2 chicks for a couple of weeks and I could handle that; I actually WANT to handle two chicks. I never thought I would come CLOSE to more than one, but for now, two is PLENTY. Of course I ditched one of them and just recently found another; of which I got busted with her at my house by the other one. Now I say busted but we weren’t really exclusive and that’s how I ended it, well she ended it, which worked out wonderfully. Now I need to find another one.

  • http://honeyandlance.com Lance

    Full disclosure: I’ve never maintained a harem, but I have dated 2 girls at once several times. Logistically, it’s a bit of a mess. I think with 5 girls, you would have to prioritize who you spent time with, and probably go on a 10 day schedule, ie spend just 1 day out of 10 per girl so you wouldn’t go crazy. Something like that.

    For the PUA’s, it’s critical that they don’t have day jobs and ALSO that they travel so much; it makes them more flexible and less available at the same time.

    With that being said, I really want to work my way up to 5 girls at once. I think it’ll have some awesome benefits, like forcing me to organize my social life, completely crushing neediness, and making me a more honest and upfront partner.

  • Lilly

    I think you could pull that off around the August timeframe.

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  • http://www.hotalphafemale.blogspot.com Hot Alpha Female

    Provided that all these girls don’t start getting needy and want more out of the relationship then I think it would work. In theory it is. I mean five chicks, well I guess if you’re really good at not getting emotionally attached.. Then it will work out fine.

    But hey im a chick and I know how chicks think. One of them is bound to start liking you more than you like her and that’s when the shite hits the fan.

    I personally don’t see the point in dating THAT many chicks. I mean unless you want an ego boost or something, then that would be a fantastic idea.

    The whole dedicating a lot of your life to just dating in general is kind of disturbing for me personally. I mean I couldn’t just spend most of my days with people that I want to date .. I would want a balance between my dating life, my social life, family, and pursuing my own passions. Otherwise no matter how interesting the guy, I would be unfulfilled and bored out my freaken mind

    Hot Alpha Female


    Hot Alpha Female’s last blog post..The Biggest Dating Myth – REVEALED

  • http://honeyandlance.com/contact Lance

    Managing 5 gf’s is a royal pain in the ass, and probably too many for most regular guys. You can easily get your dating life handled by dating 2-3 women at the same time, and probably in a couple of cycles.

    I agree with your comments about having a balance. I’ll probably do the mLTR thing for a short stretch, say 1-2 months, then drop back down to a single LTR and let everything come back to balance. I’ve got other stuff I want to work on also.

  • http://www.hotalphafemale.blogspot.com Hot Alpha Female

    Yeh i see your point. I guess i see dating as a means to an end. I mean you date people because you want to see if they are a match for you.

    I wouldnt date heaps of random people, just for the fun of it … not that i think of anyways.

    Then again i could see how dating multiple chicks would take away any sense of desparating, so when a chick comes along that you really really like .. you can still be fairly laid back…

    Hot Alpha Female


    Hot Alpha Female’s last blog post..The Biggest Dating Myth – REVEALED