Archive for January, 2010

The Only Reason To Do eHarmony: Lindsey Lohan (video)

Funny or Die is my new BFF. This one features Lindsey Lohan in an eHarmony video. Lolz. Also, why do I still think she’s hot? Does that make me a bad person?

$$ Quote: “I’m looking for someone I can spend the rest of my life with. Or at least my probation.”

Continued

More Love for Match.com: How Rihanna Met Her Boyfriend (Video)

Why can’t all match.com videos be like this? So honest. This is how Matt Kemp, outfielder for the Dodgers, bagged uber-hottie Rihanna. Match’s tentacles are slithering into sports and pop. Note the special little dig at Chris Brown at the end. Love it.

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Sexplorations in 2010

The morning that we were going to leave for our NYE trip to Vegas, I was looking for a gift certificate for one of the restaurants we were going to eat at.  I couldn’t find it where I thought it’d be, and then remembered that Jake sometimes takes the gift certificates I buy and keeps them in his briefcase, so since he was still asleep I checked there.

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I Got A Half Chub Listening To This Chick Talk About Sex

So I was googling “penis enlargement” when I stumbled into this YouTube vid where a hot chick discusses drunk vs. sober sex. She describes how much of a party girl she used to be and how drunk sex was so much more fun than sober sex. No fucking shit, sister!?! Drunk sex is always more fun that sober sex. For the record, I’d order us both 5 shots of Patron, talk crazy dirty in ear, take her home, and blow a humongous man wad right on the freckle on her chest. Oopsie…did I just say that?

Money quote at the 2:32 mark: “…no one really wants to cum on the sober girl.”

Continued

How Important is Sex in Your Relationship?

Okay, serious question. If you’re in a relationship or even just dating, how important is the quality of the sex? I’m looking for some no-bullshit responses here.

Let’s use a thought experiment. Let’s say your girl is near perfect in every way, except the sex is only a 5 on a scale of 1 to 10 for whatever reasons. Very very average, nay even mediocre. Would you stick with it? If so, why or why not? I can’t in my right mind consider staying with a chick if the sex is that…boring…even if everything else is wonderful. Especially if it’s long term.

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Honey Takes Stock in 2010

Hey everyone, so my sexy Vegas post is coming (ha! get it?) but since I am at work on my lunchbreak at the moment, you’re going to get a new year’s resolution-style posting for the moment.  Like Lance, I am less into pure resolutions at this stage in my life, but there is something I have been noticing since I’ve been working full-time…

There’s an old saying that life is what happens while you’re making other plans.  Well, to a certain extent that’s true, and even a good thing.  OTOH, it’s easy to stop living a conscious life when that happens and lose track of your longer-term goals (or even your shorter-term goals).   My goal, then (if you want to call it  that) is to spend a year taking stock of my life.  Here are the two main categories and questions I’m going to ask myself to get started: Continued

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