Archive for December, 2009

Not Just Love Styles – Work Styles, Too!

I thought that Lance’s recent post on How to Qualify a Relationship was excellent, and his description if himself as a “bursty” worker being one of the things that makes the quality time love style very difficult for him was a worthy insight.  So worthy that it got me thinking about my own work style.

You see, where for Lance,

My brain gets really tired each day, way before my body or my emotional center runs out of energy. WAY before. I have a finite amount of this mind energy, and that energy runs out after 3-4 hours. After that, I’m basically a zombie mentally. Once I’m in this low energy state, I have to recharge, and I do that by napping, reading, watching TV, or otherwise fucking around in private.

I do not experience these types of creative energy spikes with any regularity.  Sure, if I have a really long day at work or am under stress about something specific, then I might get emotionally/intellectually tired.  But for the most part, I wake up fairly early and chug along at a steady pace all day (Lance would say it’s the Virgo in me). Continued

How To Qualify A Relationship

I am totally convinced that the 5 love languages are essential to qualifying a relationship. In fact, I think it’s the #1 key to a successful relationship. Forget all this stuff about honesty and respect. Although those are important, too. I’ll explain.

I wrote back in July how your love style can help or hinder you on dates. This was before I knew anything about the Chapman book. At that point I noticed how small conflicts in the way I communicated with my girlfriends could turn into huge issues down the road. But I didn’t have the vocabulary or the principles nailed down to really understand it. Then, Honey turned me onto Chapman in her post here, and I blogged about love styles (ie Love Languages) further when I wrote about insights from dating three chicks at once. Then I read the book. Now, I have a context and a way to quantify communication with my partner.

Continued

Awesome news!

So it is awesome news all around these days (sorry for neglecting you, my peeps!). First Jake and I went to Illinois to visit his grandparents for Thanksgiving and then I have been catching up because it is the busiest time of year for me at work. I hate that my busiest time is around the holidays, which are supposed to be about relaxation and fun, but what can you do? Anyway, that’s not the good news – here’s a recap of recent events:

Illinois

Illinois was good. As I’ve mentioned previously, Jake and I avoid his parents and brother, but we got some QT with the grandparents, aunt, and cousin. The biggest surprise (at least for Jake, I suspected this would happen and tried to tell him but he didn’t believe me) was that the family decided to give us our Christmas gifts while we were actually there, to watch us opening them. Continued

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