Archive for October, 2009

How Safe is Too Safe? Or, Lance Blows Up Brazen Careerist

So, Lance blew up the comments in the “Ask Penelope Trunk!” chatter section – check it out on Brazen Careerist, and then sign up if you didn’t after reading his review of the updated site.

Similar to dadshouse’s entry on how a woman he met online didn’t want to meet up for a hike on a first date, Lance’s date refused to come over and let him cook dinner for her at his house.  Like DM, Lance is frustrated by the fact that women feel unsafe in their initial encounters, largely because it either leads to “sipping Bud Lights while we stare at each other across tabletops and play word games and play dress up” (Lance) or “coffee dates, those fact-finding information exchanges that modern singles embrace as necessities like college-bound kids taking the SAT” (DM).

Where do you, the readers, draw the line? Continued

Negotiation: Get What You Want By Giving

The second of the two presentations at the professional development conference I attended last week (you can read about the first one, “recession-proofing your personal relationships,” here) was on negotiating. Now, the conference was sponsored by a woman’s professional organization, so that’s what the focus (and most of the supporting anecdotes) was on, but I think there’s value in it regardless of your gender.

“Hard” versus “Soft” Negotiating

This is one of the core principles of the well-known book Getting to Yes by Roger Fisher and William Ury. Essentially, hard negotiation (often called competitive negotiation) is about using whatever means necessary to get whatever it is that you want. Soft negotiation (often called integrative or cooperative negotiation) is about maximizing both parties’ returns – even if it means giving up something that you really want. Continued


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The Hottest Kiss Of My Life

So I’ve been kind of bummed lately for love-related reasons. Yes, Lance-daddy gets in a rut too for this stuff, sue me. It’s totally screwed up my creativity, which is precisely the reason why I haven’t blogged much lately. Continued

Interview with Gary Stock (Part 2)

Gary Stock is author of and CIO of technology innovation firm Nexcerpt, Inc. He’s also an  online dating veteran and an experimenter and critic of the technology and systems behind the online dating sites. I first discovered him after he left a comment on my post about spotting fake profiles and then reading his Bad Match series of posts about the scams that are rampant on online dating sites. If any readers are doing online dating or are interested in the subject, I highly recommend reading his posts and then checking out this interview. This is the part 2 of the interview. Part 1 can be found here.

3. What exactly are the fake profiles and scams for? Are these guys trying to wrangle money out of people or just get emails in order to spam them?


International Day of Climate Action

In case you haven’t heard, the Earth’s

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climate is in some serious shit. Scientists have determined that the maximum safe level of CO2 in our atmosphere is 350 parts per million. This December, world leaders are meeting in Denmark to discuss next steps on this crucial issue, but the fact of the matter is that we’ve exceeded 350 already and, most likely, whatever the world leaders propose is going to be a drop in the bucket compared to what needs to be done.


Lucky for you tomorrow is the International Day of Climate Action! For more information on tomorrow’s events (of which there are over 4500 taking place in 181 countries), visit Get involved, especially if you have (or plan on having) kids – it’s not just your world, it’s theirs, and we’ve gotta clean it up.

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