Archive for November, 2008

The Weekly: Thanksgiving Edition

(God bless us, every single one of us.)

Haven’t done a Weekly in a while because I’ve been f**king busy, so I thought I’d jump right back into it with a Thanksgiving edition. This is also an update on Big Daddy Lance in case you were wondering what shenanigans I’ve been getting into.

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LOL I’m the World’s Most Famous Hooker!!

Yo waddup it’s me Ashley Alexandra Dupre aka Ashley Youmans aka Kristen aka NJ Thug Princess.

OMG I’m so famous now I was on 20/20 with that super cool lady Diane Sawyer. Diane you like totally fucking rock girl, I know you had to act like you think prostitution is uncool and dirty and all but you like totally gave me a hi-five and a you-go-girl off the camera. You were like “Ashley you’re my main bitch you took down that humongous douchebag Spitzer and now you’re cashing in,” and then she was like, “we need more bitches like you Ashley, call me if you need anything.”  What!?! that’s right! Check it out i look awesome:

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Confession: I can only get off with my vibrator!

I’ve mentioned it before in passing, but decided that the time had finally come to devote an entire blog to the fact that the only orgasms I’ve ever had have come from my vibrator.  Although really, that should be plural because I’ve worn out a few over the years!

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Public Service Announcement: Porn

While the BF doesn’t read my blog with any regularity, I do frequently tell him about what people say in comments and what I read on other sites.  When I was telling him about our friend who hadn’t gotten laid in a few weeks, he said, “you know what?  You should write a column on how girls should watch porn with their boyfriends.”  Well, ladies, here it is–but there’s something here for the fellas, too: why your girlfriend probably doesn’t watch porn with you now.

Ladies: Why You Should Watch Porn With Your Boyfriend Continued

Man Gets Dumped For Being Excellent Boyfriend

Atlanta, GA – An Atlanta man was dumped on Monday for trying to build a strong emotional connection and having deep intimacy with his girlfriend. Dennis Dickerson, age 29, had been going steady with Roswell resident Amanda Knupfel for two years.

“It really took me by surprise,” said Dickerson, “I thought we had a really awesome relationship. I mean, we got along, we spent a lot of time together, and I wanted us to open up and become even closer than we were. I thought being even more vulnerable was the next step in our relationship.”

“Everything was going so well,” Dickerson continued, “I was thinking really long term, like, you know, maybe getting married.”

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The Nicest Surprise

I came home yesterday to the nicest surprise! It was nice too, after the weekend I’d had. You see, I do the vast majority of the household chores. This is partly because the BF’s job revolves around billable hours so I am home before he does, and partly because as a Virgo (however on the cusp with Leo I am), I have a much lower tolerance for clutter than he does.

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