Okay, let’s wade into the Tom Spitzer kerfuffle. In case you hadn’t noticed, it’s all over the news and Internet, which means there’s a MASSIVE deluge of information. Nailing down points out of this morass is a pain the ass. You can find an overview of the proceedings here. The New York Times online also has excellent coverage of the scandal/tragedy/disgracement. Instead of trying to make one over-arching conclusion from the mess, I’m going to instead spew out a bunch of impressions and reactions.
Archive for March, 2008
Sweet! Darren at Problogger published my post about voice. If you’re a regular reader (we have those), you can find that post here. It has nothing to do with dating and relationships, but does give good advice about writing and blogging.
If you’re new to the site, thanks for surfing in and giving us some lovin’. If you subscribe to our feed, I’ll email you naked pictures of Honey I have saved on my laptop from back in the day.
Lance’s weekend roundup linked to this article by Steve Beale on what happens when a woman proposes. The author suggests that while women are responsible for the proposal (in the sense that, if he doesn’t propose, the woman’s gonna leave–and she lets him know this beforehand), men should actually be the ones doing the deed. Hot Alpha Female wrote her own post about how emasculating it is for the girl to propose to the guy. Lance agrees, though he refers to Steve Beale’s hypothesis as “female mind control,” which most girls would not only agree with but also feel pretty good about. I am in total agreement with everyone here that the guy needs to be the one to propose. In case my asserting it doesn’t convince you on its own, let me begin this entry with two of the worst “engagement stories” that I have ever heard.
Story #1: Girl Proposes to Self
This is fantastic. There is this chick that I used to work with who’s very female-power, in the worst kind of way. Apparently her dad was a worthless chode and bowed down to every whim her mother ever had, and so it’s been impressed upon her since an early age that this is what a marriage is. So after she’d been dating her boyfriend for a few years (I want to say three) she decided that the time had come. What’s a girl to do?
Well, she picked a ring out and special-ordered it from a jeweler and had them ship it to her:
Looks harmless, doesn’t it?
Earlier in the week I invited a bunch of bloggers to engage in a posting roundtable. The subject was simple: your best advice for being more attractive, a subject near and dear to Honey and I. We asked bloggers who ranged from personal development to dating coaches to relationship advice columnists. We were interested in engaging a range of perspectives and seeing what came out of it. I figured the advice would overlap and there would also be some real gems in there. I got the idea after reading Monica O’Brien’s post, Men Need To Grow Up? on the blog Twenty Set. She had some interesting ideas in her post, and in particular this passage struck me:
In days of yore, men and women used to fight over the TV remote. Actually, I remember the days before remotes. My dad and mom got to sit on the couch and my sister and I sat on the floor, and when my dad wanted the channel changed, we did it for him. I was convinced for a long time that was why people had children–they never had to get up off the couch.
In days of slightly less yore, men and women used to fight over the TV remote. Then the DVR came along and changed all that. It was no longer so necessary to fight over the remote at any given time, because you can record things and watch them later. Plus, if you watch them later then you don’t have to watch the commercials.
This means that if so you kind of get a power flip, and whoever has the least power has to watch their show live, commercials and all, while the other person’s show records.
I canceled my cable at my apartment in Flagstaff because I wasn’t watching it much when I was in town anyway, and so I could chip in for satellite at my BF’s (student loan repayments more than he bargained for so he’s a little short on cash and I figured I could help out). I told him this, and said that now that I was paying for half, I wanted half of the recordings (our DVR can only make 50 series recordings…sigh…).
Him: You already have half of the recordings.
Me: <raise eyebrow>
Him: Okay, let’s check.
He opens up the prioritizer.
Him: Oh, it looks like I have 35 out of 50 shows recording.
Me: And I have nothing in the top 10.
Him: Tell me how many shows you want me to delete.
Hm. I thought that I was going to have a deliciously long post for you with lots of advice about tact and compromise. Turns out, if you both have the same definition of compromise, sometimes no discussion is necessary. Though I did reprioritize his stuff and put some things into the top 10 without telling him!
I figured out a technique to improve body language that totally kicks ass. This can take as little as thirty minutes.
So I was working on this video, making a presentation for work. The video is basically me standing up and telling a story. It’s short, less than five minutes. I was speaking off-the-cuff, although I had told the same story probably a dozen times to friends. I was doing this at home, alone, so I was talking straight into the camera. Have you ever given an extensive dialogue on camera or in front of a mirror? It’s weird. You become very self conscious. There’s no one to vibe off of. It made me realize three things: