Countdown – less than three months until Jake and I get hitched!  The invitations are in production now and should be here in two weeks.  This is really happening!  But, this isn’t about that.  It’s actually just a quick something that Jake said to me the other day that I wanted to get your take on.

Jake said that while he tells me sometimes (not frequently, but not infrequently either) how important it is that I support his decisions.  Whenever he is stressed about something, he always asks if he has my support.   Sometimes this is emotional, like when he was scared to leave his job to start his own company.  Sometimes it is financial  - now that he doesn’t make a salary, sometimes he can’t predict his income and isn’t sure he’ll get paid by a client in time to pay one of our bills.  Whatever he asks for, I always give it, of course!

But…he says that I never really tell him that I need his support. Read the full article

I’ve been doing some experimenting with my relationships recently and one thing I’ve found is that straight up communication isn’t that effective. When I say communication, I mean sitting down and talking face-to-face. Talking is useful and has it’s place, but more is needed.

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Over the holidays, while watching The Nutcracker live on TV, I had an epiphany.

Here it is: Performance and the act of performing is critical to the human experience.

What spurred that thought was watching interviews with several of the kids who played major characters in the production. Even at a young age, children are very much aware that they’re on stage, performing, being judged for their performance, and growing as a result of the experience.

I look back on my life and recall the most vivid, most memorable experiences are ones where I’m performing, especially at a high level. For me, most of these are sports and adventure related. Without these experiences, I can honestly say that my life would be pretty boring. Perhaps even meaningless.

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Here is what game for guys in their 30′s (and beyond) should look like.

Guys in their 30′s should be successful professionals and have lots of money. At least enough money to sustain a good lifestyle and a family (if you’re into the family thing). You’re either a working professional with a cool career or a small business owner, or both. Either way, you’re driven, ambitious, creative, and a badass.

If you’re single, it’s by choice, and you can always get girlfriends. Even if you live in a small town in the middle of nowhere, you have options. It is preferred to live in an area where there are plenty of intelligent men and women…I recommend cities on coasts.

You should not spend all your time running game in bars and clubs. That’s a hassle and you’re past all that. You do go out on special occasions, but the primary purpose of that should be the occasion itself.

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I found Juliet Jeske’s post, Dating After Divorce In a City of Sluts, via the Evan Marc Katz blog. Jeske is a divorced comedian and artist in New York City. She’s starting over in the NYC dating scene and frustrated with how fast things move in the dating world. Her complaint is a common one, that sex happens too fast and guys want to get laid on the first date.

I’m a big believer in fast sex, before any kind of gf-bf relationshop has been established. There are good reasons for this, which I will address in a followup post. For now, let’s go with the assumption that guys want to have sex early and women get pissed when we do. What should Jeske do?

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